As you all know, I was incredibly disappointed by the fact that I couldn’t vote in the last election on August 8th because I’d lost my national ID card. Which you also know that I found later. And I was really looking forward to voting in tomorrow’s repeat presidential election.


HOWEVER. The last two months have been the most polarizing in Kenya’s history. Looking at the two front runners, I’m sorry but neither of them deserves my vote. I don’t believe for a single minute that their quest for power has anything to do with us wananchi or our interests. I refuse to be a pawn in their ego trips. The other candidates don’t stand a chance so why bother.

I’ve always been always believer in the idea that exercising your democratic right through the ballot gives you a stake in commenting on national politics. It allows you to question your leaders. If you don’t vote, shut up. But I’m at the point where in as much as I desire for this mess to end so that life for you and me can go back to normal, regardless of your tribe or political affiliation. I’m currently so fed up and indifferent. I believe we’re fucked both ways.

The fact that IEBC cannot be trusted to conduct a credible election is another factor.

It’s for these reasons that tomorrow I intend to exercise my democratic right to NOT vote. For those of you who will, do so in peace. To those who won’t, I hope those voting will allow them to exercise that right. In the end, we still have to live and work together.

God bless Kenya.


The other night I was scrolling through a group page on Facebook and came across a car for sale advert. The number plate was all too familiar and suddenly a lot of memories came flooding back.


The registration was all too familiar. (I remember a lot of number plates) You see, this was no ordinary Land Cruiser (Or Cruise Control, as it was nicknamed). Well, it was, when we first set eyes on it.


Meeting Cruise Control for the first time.

I was one of the bloggers (alongside Tim Njiru, Karue Wachira, Naomi Mutua, Ahenda Anjichi and others) chosen to take part in #TembeaKenya, an initiative by Kenya Tourism Board to promote domestic tourism by educating Kenyans about the many beautiful destinations that they can visit within our borders. Sio tu kwenda Mombasa kila Easter na Christmas. But by the time we were done with Cruise Control it had become an archive of very special memories.  We had plenty of fun experiences in that Land Cruiser. Scary ones too. Friendships were built and cemented in Cruise Control. We learnt a lot about Kenya, and even more about ourselves and each other.


In Mombasa

In that Land Cruiser, I met Francis Kioko a.k.a MakDunda. A very talkative chap with a pronounced limp, he knows every part of this country like the back of his hand, and he sure did come up with quite a few memorable quotes. The only place where he refused to accompany us was Kakamega forest, coz not only does he fear snakes, but he knew that if we all had to scatter from danger, he would be leading from the back.


Francis “MakDunda” Kioko

Before I met Tim Njiru, I always thought of him as that annoying, quirky little chap on In Sync, an art show that I quite enjoyed watching. Obviously I thought he had a prima donna air around him like a certain TV anchor we all know, but that opinion would soon change.


Omera what is?

We witnessed his ups and downs, and his resolve to pick up and keep moving each time a hustle didn’t work out. Once, Tim was on the phone trying to seal a deal with a very reluctant person. He really poured his heart out, coz he had worked so hard on it, and we knew how much since it was all that he talked about all day. Everyone in the car went quiet, silently crossing our fingers and praying that the deal went through, because Tim really needed it at the time. And it did.


And we DRANK to that!

I met Karue Wachira in that car, a man that I’ve come to admire and respect in equal measure, not just for his photography skills, but for his wise outlook on life. A child of two worlds with wisdom far beyond his years. And a brilliant photographer to match.


Kukaza sura nayo?

In that Land Cruiser, I met Muriuki Muriithi (aka Muriux) from KTB. A passionate golfer and photographer who loves his Tusker Malt, he’s always smiling and goofing about that many times it was hard to know when he was being serious or merely joking.


Muriux got talent

But his photography is definitely better than his golf.


What a miss!

We traversed the length and breadth of Kenya in that Land Cruiser. From Nairobi to Tsavo West, Mzima Springs, Shimba Hills, Mombasa and everywere in between. From Kisumu to Rarieda to Mbita. Then to Kakamega, Iten, Kerio Valley to Eldoret.


Somewhere in Kerio Valley

In that Land Cruiser, we spent a whole morning searching all over Iten for 800m World & Olympic Champion David Rudisha. We found him…..eventually.


Naomi and Rudisha

We got lost in Ruma National Park one evening while looking for elephants. Out of network coverage and fast running out of fuel, we had no one to call for help. We just had to trust our instincts and keep moving in the bush. We did find those elephants eventually, and boy was it worth it! Through every terrain that was thrown at it, from tarmac to rocks to gravel, mud and rivers, bush and whatever else you can think of, Cruise Control just kept on going. I doubt if Jeremy Clarkson and Co would manage to destroy it.

Naomi saved our asses when the jack slipped on very loose gravel while changing a flat tyre. Cruise Control almost tipped over to the side while Karue was under it. She pushed the car upright with all the energy she could muster, and in those two or three seconds she saved Karue from imminent amputation. I think photographers need to insure their arms.



In that Land Cruiser we drank quite a lot. Nitasema ukweli. That ka Famous was probably mine.


Part of the stash

Late last year, I was leaving the office and the very distinct Cruise Control passed by. I waved, hoping to catch MakDunda’s attention, unfortunately the car just passed and went kabisa. I tried to call him just to say hi, but his phone was mteja. I didn’t think much of it until I received an email a few weeks later from Muriux with some sad news. He had called the tour company to book Cruise Control for a safari, only to be informed that MakDunda passed away in July 2012 after a heart attack.


Ahesh and MakDunda


MakDunda & Ahesh in Mombasa


MakDunda at Tom Mboya’s mausoleum, Rusinga Island.

The news was quite sad. Rest in peace, Francis “MakDunda” Kioko. You were a good man.

Well, I have no doubt that Cruise Control will serve its next owner well, and I hope that whoever gets to tour the country in it will also create lifetime memories just as we did.


Cruise Control at Kerio Valley Resort

What’s on my Playlist?

Phil Collins – Take me home.

Allow me to introduce to you the Morris Moses Foundation (MMF), a non-profit organization set up in 2009 by friends and relatives of the late Morris Moses Kiromo and the late Isaac Mwongera. The two were patients at a major referral hospital in Nairobi, but sadly they passed away due to deplorable healthcare conditions at the institution. They were not treated in a timely manner that would have saved their lives. Inspired by this unfortunate experience, MMF was formed as a consumer lobby that advocates for compassionate, quality and affordable healthcare for all Kenyans.

Boresha Afya

The Morris Moses Foundation will be having a fundraiser called Boresha Afya this Friday 5th August at the Hotel Intercontinental Nairobi from 6:30pm.

The aim of the Boresha Afya Fundraiser is to enable MMF to raise money to support its goal to promote the delivery of quality health care and affordable medical insurance for all Kenyans. With your support, we believe that we can all do something to improve the quality and delivery of services in our public hospitals.

Entry is only Ksh 2,000/= per person. Tickets are available at Capital FM (19th Floor Lonrho House) Africa Heritage, The Carnivore and Steers outlets.

Sponsored by Housing Finance, 98.4 Capital FM, King’s Medical College, Hotel Intercontinental Nairobi, Ramco Printing Works Ltd, PKF Accountants and Business Advisors, GIGI Motors, Intermass Printers & Stationers, Jade Sea Journeys, MTN Business, Prime Product & Dairyland Ice Cream.

Hope to see you there.

Facebook – MorrisMoses Foundation

The Crazy Friends Ensemble (as Kiss 100 and Classic 105 puts it) takes this pleasure to invite you to watch the Broadway award winning, rib cracking, crazy wedding comedy,

Produced by Davies Lule Lule
Directed by Ellis Otieno
Come and join us as we watch how this wedding morning
preparation craze that gets madder and funnier as it goes along.

A play that will guarantee you bursting into laughter every time you think of a scene.

Venue: Alliance Francaise de Nairobi Auditorium

Dates: 7th, 8th & 9th May, 2010
Time: 6.30pm – Friday
3.00pm & 6.00pm – Saturday and Sunday
Gate Charges 500/=

For Finer Details and Reservations, call 0720 861 236 or 0733 720 585
Bookings via Mpesa 0722 487 488.
Zap 0733 720 585


When harassed advertising executive Timothy Westerby hits
his head on the morning of his daughter’s society wedding, he awakes to find himself in the company of Polly Perkins, a 1920’s Flapper girl straight out of his current advertising campaign.

It soon becomes all too clear that no-one else can see or hear her, and when another bump on the head transports Timothy
back to 1926 and the Savoy hotel, the carefully planned wedding preparations disintegrate into chaos as friends and family
attempt to lead Timothy back to reality and his daughter down the aisle before the newly arrived ‘In-Laws’ abandon the

Starring the ever popular SAM PSENJEN at his sometimes
irrepressible best as Timothy Royston Westerby, this madcap
and hilarious farce will have audiences rolling up and down the aisles as confusions and communication mix ups abound.

A real masterpiece that will have you laugh all the way home. Full of hysterical situations and slapstick comedy, THERE GOES THE BRIDE promises to be a real occasion not to be missed!

Other Stars Include:
Andrew Muthure,
Susan Wanjiru,
Kenga Sankei,
Michelle Nduta,
Idah Kabura,
Maggie Karanja
and Anthony Miano.

I had a chat with some friends the other day and the topic of being propositioned by a celeb that one fancies came up. This is the HYPOTHETICAL scenario. Your significant other has the hots on a certain A-list celebrity. A really hot one. Not these local garbage variety celebs wa kuji-pox na kuvaa shades kwa club usiku, I’m talking international A-list celebs.

Supposing your chic has the hots for say… Maxwell, Morris Chestnut or Tyrese. The kind you know would slice you in a heartbeat and you wouldn’t say a word coz enyewe kuna vile…!! And just randomly they happen to meet somewhere and said celeb propositioned her. And she calls you and says kuna vile she just has to get this out of her system coz it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, a one off thing that will possibly never happen ever again. And she asks you if she may oblige his request. Would you let her? Bear in mind that if you said no, she wouldn’t.

Again I insist, it is a hypothetical situation. Take it with a pinch of salt, there are no issues of trust, morals or infidelity here. It doesn’t mean that if she were to cheat just this once, that she would cheat on you again with someone else.

My friends argued that this scenario could go in either of two ways. One, the shag would be totally off the hook and even though it was a one off (which your S.O would be eternally grateful to you for) she would begin to compare you to him and you’d emerge the loser. Or, it could turn out to be a completely useless shag, but she’d be glad that she got over her curiosity.

And this situation obviously would not work if the tables were turned, for example if a dude were to be propositioned by Toni Braxton, Lisa Raye or Gabrielle Union coz we all know your woman would never agree to that.

Or would she?

Sidebar: some weeks ago I told my (former) S.O that even though I’ll be of marriageable age in 2014, I wouldn’t want to tie the knot (with whoever I’ll be dating then) before I’ve had a chance to fly to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup. Reason being…have you seen them carnivals on TV with nude chics with painted bodies and all the stuff that goes on? I gotta tap me some Brazilian bunda!! I intend for that to be my very last over-the-top hanye before I can finally settle down and tie the knot.

And she said

“fine, you go and tap some Brazilian ass, bear in mind that if I could, I’d take all my girls with me to Amsterdam, and you know it’s no-holds-barred in the red light district! I’m gonna have me a three-some with two well built men with 9 inch d***s! How would you feel about that?”

Eish woman! Fine, you win.

Back to the topic at hand, here’s the question: would you as a dude allow your significant other to “get it out of her system” by having a one-off shag with a really hot celebrity that she has a massive crush on and there’s absolutely no possibility that this would ever happen again?


Si I said we resume normal programming?



Name: Luis Felipe Scolari aka Big Phil

Who is he: Manager, Chelsea FC

Reason: Ask any Chelsea fan and they’ll tell you the one thing we held more precious than winning the Premiership was our four and a half years unbeaten record at what came to be known as Fortress Stamford Bridge. In fact, there was a joke on BBC Sports,

“Question: How do you beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge?

Answer: YOU DON’T!”

After the “Special One” Jose Mourinho left, even the total loser Avram Grant kept that record intact. Then came Scolari, a World Cup winner in 2002 with Brazil. Under him, our record was broken by Liverpool, and we went ahead to lose to Arsenal, and in one of the most humiliating defeats I have ever witnessed, Chelsea got thwacked 3:0 last Sunday by Man United.

This man clearly has no idea what he’s doing. A combination of poor tactics, poor decision making, ineffective leadership will seal his fate one day very soon, and I will not be sad to see him go. Roman Abramovich had better start talking to Roberto Mancini.

Scolari, wewe ndio fokojembe wa wiki hii.

What’s on my Playlist

Les Nubians – Makeda

It’s rather obvious that the male and female minds work in very different ways. Sometimes what may be as clear as day to one gender is complete Greek to the other. And most times it’s we dudes who come out the worse. Coz we’re simple creatures really, we say what we mean and we mean what we say (unless we’re lying to you). So, ladies, please help us understand a few things by answering a couple of questions.

1. Is there a difference between dating and being in a relationship? If so, what is it? Someone I know is of the opinion that dating is ‘seeing each other with the intention of getting into a relationship.’ WTF????? So what if you’re already doing everything that a couple in a relationship normally does, including being vetted by meeting close friends and even family?

2. a) Does the fact that you’re merely dating and not in a relationship mean that either party is free to walk out of the arrangement at any time without owing as much as an explanation to the other?

b) Does the fact that you’re dating and not in a relationship mean that it is in fact an open relationship, in that either party is free to date other people before making a decision on whom to enter into a relationship with?

c) If you’re dating, does having ‘relations’ with someone else qualify as cheating? Coz how can it be cheating if you’re not in a relationship? And if you found out that the person you’re dating had relations with someone else, do you have the right to be upset about it?

I’m defeated! Nimeshindwa!

2. Do women really apply the tips in Cosmo magazine when it comes to guys? Apparently there are several criteria that are used for gauging a guy as potential boyfriend/husband/baby daddy material. The way he eats his food, the way he ties his tie, the way he shaves his facial hair etc.

Just last night I was reading the latest edition of Cosmo, and it had an article about judging a dude by the way he grooms his pubes!!! Apparently there are four categories: those who don’t bother, (aka Republicans) those who give the nethers a polite trimming and shaping, those who shave the shaft of the “artillery” and the “supporting accessories”, and those who shave the nethers completely. Listed under each is an explanation of the dude’s probable personality and character.

Seriously? Do women actually apply this stuff? Is this realistic in any way? When you meet a dude, do you compare all these things to the chart in Cosmo so as to deduce what kind of person he may be? If that’s the case, gentlemen, I highly suggest that you include Cosmo, True Love and a couple of other women’s magazines in your monthly subscriptions besides Adam, Men’s Health and Autocar. Tunapimwa kutumia ma-criteria ata hatuzijui!!

In other news:

***This section of the post has been edited for personal reasons. If you missed it, well…too bad!***

What’s on my Playlist?

K’naan ft. Tracy Chapman – Voices.

If you live in Kenya and you haven’t yet heard of Just a Band, then you probably live under a rock. In Moyale. Surrounded by cacti and scorpions. Just a Band is a Kenyan musical trio comprised of Dan Muli, Bill “Blinky” Sellanga and Jim Chuchu.

From left: Dan, Blinky and Jim.

Wikipedia describes them as “a Kenyan house/funk/disco band…whose musical taste has directions such as, but not limited to, jazz, hip-hop, disco and electronica.” Neo-soul should have been thrown into that mix too.

(Afromusing did an excellent interview with the band on her blog. Another profile can be found here.)

The band released their first studio album “Scratch to Reveal” in May 2008.

Scratch to Reveal provides a refreshing change from the regular garbage that batters our ear drums in form of kapuka and genge. (with the exception of Jua Cali and one or two others) It is rich in creativity and experimentation and is a break from the ordinary. In fact, local media houses were initially reluctant to play the band’s music and their videos for fear of “alienating their audience.” Though Capital FM regularly gives their neo-soul single “Hey” airtime on Neo-Soul Thursday and the neo-soul show on Sunday afternoons, and I have recently spied the “Fly” video on NTV.

I have to say that Scratch to Reveal is undoubtedly one of (if not) the best Kenyan albums released this year. I got my autographed copy from Blinky about three months ago, and I love it love it love it! (Kipepeo, 2006) My favourite tracks include “Have You Seen Her” featuring Sarah Mitaru and Diana “Dee” Nduba (who claims to have had a sore throat on recording day. If so, she did a good job disguising it!) and “Yamo pa More” a track done in Dholuo by Liz Ogumbo, “Iwinyo Piny” and “Hey!”

A review by WAPI Times.

The “Iwinyo Piny” animated video has been nominated for a KORA Award for Best African Video Clip, alongside Eric Wainaina’s “Twende Twende” and others.

You can watch the video here…then rush here and vote!

Scratch to Reveal is now available at Nu Metro music stores at Nakumatt Westgate and Junction for only Ksh 950. Go out and buy it now! For those of you who are in the diaspora, you can now listen and buy their music on iTunes, PayPlay, Tradebit and Last FM. (follow the links)

I’m impressed by the high quality of music that Kenyan artistes are churning out lately. There’s Atemi Oyungu’s album “Hatimaye” which I must get hold of, Eric Wainaina’s “Twende Twende” which is a must have in one’s collection, Kaz’s album “Somin” (ok, the jury’s still out on that one, I haven’t heard many rave reviews), Scratch to Reveal, among others. There is so much potential out there just waiting to be discovered. If this is the future of solid, creative Kenyan music that will stand the test of time, then I must say that the future is bright.

More information and links:

Just a Band official website.

Just a Blog:

Just a Band on Facebook:

P.S: Please feel free to add your own reviews of this album in the comments page.

What’s on my Playlist?

Have you seen her? – Just a Band feat. Sarah Mitaru & Diana “Dee” Nduba.

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