sports


The 2014 FIFA World Cup came to a close two nights ago, with Germany beating Argentina 1-0 in a tense final to win their 4th World Cup trophy. The World Cup is the world’s most watched and talked about sporting event, and the past month has also been an online advertising festival with several global brands getting in on the action. Brands rooted for their countries, and some simply saw the tournament as the perfect opportunity to advertise, with digital campaigns scheduled to coincide with matches.

Several brands got their carefully crafted social media campaigns spot on, while others missed the mark by a mile…or ten.

delta tweet

 

 

Who can forget this tweet by KLM which got them a lot of flak from Mexican fans who claimed that it was racist?

KLM

As David Iwanow explains, there is a clear difference between stereotyping and racism. It may have rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, but apart from the fact that KLM’s social media team had to sift through thousands of insults in order to see and respond to actual tweets by their customers, I don’t see any major reason why they had to delete the tweet. But that’s just me.

Advertisers have spent millions of dollars/pounds to market their brands and products during the World Cup, as online conversations and reactions among fans take place in real time. According to Campaign Live, UK brands spent “in the region of £500,000 each around the event, with the largest campaigns pushing £1 million” during the World Cup. It has proved to be more effective than traditional advertising in terms of getting more eyeballs viewing the brand message at the same time as they’re watching football on TV. Real-time advertising at work.

A number of German brands celebrated Die Mannschaft’s win in creative ways, and I’m pretty sure that several non-German brands also did the same after the final whistle. Here are some of my favourite celebration tweets by German brands.

Audi 3Audi 2CaptureAdidas

Bayer

Bosch

Hugo Boss

Merc

SAPsiemens

VW

DHL

Red Bull

I must give an honourable mention to Listerine (yes I know it’s not a German brand) and Brazuca (the official Adidas football).

Listerine 2

Brazuca

Here are a few others. Which are some of your favourites?

I look forward to local brands spending more on creative social media campaigns during such events. Currently what I see online where two brands engage each other is often two social media managers at an ad agency sitting two desks away and having a poke at each other using the corporate accounts. It’s a start, though.

What’s on my Playlist?

Jojo – Take Me Home

RE: 2010 World Cup List of Rules

1. From 11th June to 11th July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspapers so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor…it won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep a few gallons of juices in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a thorough beating, a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying ONE game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend quality time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times!

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Premier League, the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL etc.

13. Rules are meant to be kept, not broken. This applies to these rules.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Best Regards,
Men of the World

(Post recycled from here)

Tom Henning OvreboWanker extraordinaire!

Wanker extraordinaire!

Nuff sed.

First things first, kudos to the Kenya Olympics team for doing us proud at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. 5 Gold, 5 Silver and 4 Bronze? Good! Top overall in Africa…excellent! (hehe! SA only got one silver medal. Good for those arrogant fuckers!)

However, I think we could have done better. If only we utilized the immense potential to our disposal. We have to do either of two things.

a) Diversify our “portfolio”

Kenya has a wealth of untapped natural talent, that if scouted, given proper training and facilities, can result in more Olympic medals in future. If we could get a bunch of Maasai morans jumping around for tourists and introduce them to long jump and high jump, voila! Medals right there! Maybe even basketball! If we could get a few of the fellows who were involved in the post election violence and trained them to participate in the hammer throw, discus and shot put, hey, more medals right there!

Or alternatively, we could…

b) Host the Olympics in 2028!!

If Mr. Wiper (Kalonzo) has his way and we get to bid to host the 2028 games, (in the same way he wanted to build an international airport in Isiolo to export miraa? Stevo you got jokes!) then we might as well add some events up in there that would outrightly favour a Kenyan clean sweep of the medals.

For example

1. 3000m Steeplechase

But of course! In fact, the final in Beijing was merely a formality. Me thinks the Olympic organizers should have called the Kenyan runners aside and asked them to decide amongst themselves how to share the medals. As soon as Kip-who, Kip-that one and Kip-the other one agree on who gets what, we can skip right to the podium, hoist 3 Kenyan flags and sing the anthem!

2. Bano (Marbles)

A while ago I read somewhere on the internet that there actually is a World Cup of marbles. Who among you readers didn’t play bano as a kid? I’m sure we’d excel at it if it were an Olympic sport. But now that the dot.com generation are only interested in Playstation and becoming genge rappers, our Olympic squad would consist entirely of “crack-shots” yaani the first bodi’s in bano from the 80s to mid 90s.

Team Captain: Milo

3. Shake

I assume that if you’re reading this, you know what shake is/was. Way back, there was no better way to spend a Sunday evening than to play shake from late afternoon till when the sun set. Kids these days are missing out on a lot, and they don’t even know it!

Our team: survivors from the 80s to mid 90s.

Team Captain: Mocha!

4. 400m survival course

Instead of having the conventional oval shaped track, the 2028 Nairobi Olympics track would have a wavy shaped track along the straight 100 m stretch, along with burning tyres instead of hurdles, 1 metre deep water troughs and GSU officers conveniently positioned along the entire track armed with their rungus. Whoever can navigate the course by jumping over the “hurdles”, the four water troughs and make it to the finish line without getting thwacked by the GSU, wins.

Our team: survivors of the post election violence in all parts of the country.

5. Traffic Battle Relay

Ok this is the premise. 8 teams with several drivers in the relay, ordinary vehicles…say Toyota Corollas. The teams start off at 8am on a weekday morning on Thika Road from K.U and navigate through the traffic using whatever skills at their disposal. They then pass the baton to the next team member at Murang’a Road, hand over again at Forest Road, then at Uhuru Highway, then again at Lang’ata Road, and the final handover at Nairobi West where the final driver must get to Bomas of Kenya.

Our team: Matatu drivers from routes 44, 58, 23, 24, 14 and 126.

6. Teargas Canister lob

This event shall take place inside the Olympic stadium. The athletes would stand at one end of the stadium (where the guys for shot-put do their thing) then a GSU officer would soot a teargas canister in the direction of the athletes. The athletes would then have to catch the canister (bonus marks if canister is caught mid flight) and hurl it as far as possible in the direction it came from initially.

Our team: survivors of post election violence in Kisumu, North Rift and Kibera.

7. Archery

Si there were guys shooting others with bows and arrows in North Rift during the post election violence? Where are they now? Given adequate ideological motivation and proper equipment and training, they could do very well in the Olympics!

Our team: them, and I can be team captain (of course yours truly has to be good at something!)

8. Tear gas endurance

In this event, the competitors are placed inside glass chambers with individual compartments. Then, slowly, gas taps would be opened and tear gas released into the chamber. When an athlete is unable to hold his breath any longer or the teargas starts to affect him beyond his limit, the athlete may open his compartment and leave the chamber. The competitor who stays in longest wins.

Our team: JKUAT students, GSU officers (coz they have to inhale that shit all day every other day) Nairobi CBD hawkers, Kibera and Makongeni residents.

Team Captain: Savvy

9. Synchronized banana peeling

Seeing as our next door neighbours in Uganda didn’t get a single medal in Beijing, Nick & Marcus on Classic 105 Overdrive came up with an event that would be guaranteed to earn them three easy medals. See, promoting East African harmony!

If there’s any other Kenyanized event that you feel should be included in the 2028 Nairobi Olympics, apart from Kati/Bladda feel free to add your suggestions.

What’s on my Playlist?

Isaas Blackman – To the ceiling

About a month and a half ago, four bloggers linked up for a night out. The suspects include 31337, Modo, CB and Archer. CB did a very detailed write up of the night. Yes I did fall asleep at Galileo but that’s coz the seats in the VIP lounge were oh so comfy! (what’s with Kenyans and those three letters V.I.P?) Not the leather seats, but the large, round woven ones with a huge cushion? I’ve got to get me a couple of those for my digz. We tried to Kimunya privatize one through the window but it couldn’t fit. Ah well, legit it will be then.

 

CB tried to Kimunya privatize my pinky, later she wanted to dish me up when I was asleep, Modo was on handbag duty (LOL!!) and kept running to and fro checking if drinks were flowing, while 31337…well, he was just being himself causing a tsunami under his feet when he does that helicopter ya mguu dance. It was a great night!

 

Midfield Engine leaves the Bridge

claude makelele

claude makelele

 

I was sad to see Chelsea’s 35 year old veteran midfielder and unsung hero Claude Makelele leave the club on a free transfer and join Paris St. Germain. I’d hoped that Big Phil Scolari would be able to squeeze at least one more season out of him before letting him retire after a testimonial match.

 

 


Makelele unveiled by PSG

Makelele unveiled by PSG

Makelele alias Maka was my second favourite player in the squad after Frank Lampard. There’s so much to say about arguably the best holding midfielder in recent history (he even had that specific role named after him) but you can read more about him here.

 

 

Along with Makelele, Chelsea have also gotten rid of a few players who have been deemed surplus to requirements i.e. Steve Sidwell (why the hell was he signed in the first place?) Khalid Boulahrouz and Hernan Crespo (released from contract) A few others might be on their way out i.e. Shaun Wright-Philips (to Portsmouth – please go!), Tal Ben Haim (to wherever!) and Frank Lampard (to Inter)– although I have to admit that Lamps is not thinking straight. If a former world and European Player of the Year Ronaldinho was offered a 3 year contract by AC  Milan and he’s 28, just which idiot would sign a 30 year old player on a 5 year, 150,000 pound per week deal? Kuwa serious!

 

And of course there’s that wanker Didier Drogba. I hate this idiot. Really, I do. He may be the best of our useless strikers, but he ought to go. After severally announcing his intention to leave Stamford Bridge over the last two seasons, he hoped that some top European team (AC Milan) would come calling (but they didn’t, shock on your ass!) he said he’d take ten days to decide whether he’d stay or leave. Ten days came and went, and there was still no word. If you’re going, please go. Coz I’m tired of his nonsense and if I were Scolari, I’d allocate him to ground staff where hopefully he’d get his gelled hair tangled up in the lawnmower blades and eventually behead himself. Wishful thinking, wishful thinking.

 

Scolari ought to get rid of ALL the strikers with the exception of super-sub Salomon Kalou. Andriy Shevchenko, Claudio Pizarro and Nicolas Anelka are the biggest bunch of losers in world football and couldn’t even score 15 goals between them all season. Scolari ought to hijack David Villa from Valencia as well as Robinho from Real Madrid. Word has it that Samuel Eto’o is unsettled at Barca and is desperate for a move. If we sign these players, only then do I see Chelsea being capable of fighting for major honours this season. Our only competition is from Man United, and if they sign Berbatov from Tottenham Hotspur, we may as well let them keep the Premiership and the Champions League trophies for another season.

 

This season I’d like to see one or two young players from the youth team make it into the first team. Already there’s 19 year old Argentine (with Italian papers) striker Franco di Santo who seems ready to give the first team strikers a run for their money after his impressive debut for the first team during the current pre-season matches in China.

 

Raila Odinga’s goatee

 

Has anyone else noticed that Agwambo’s goatee has been shrinking over the years? Now it’s disappeared completely!!

 

Insult of the week

I mentioned before that Ms. Dildo is a bit on the big side. OK who am I kidding, she’s very much on the big side. One of the boys from upstairs came to my digz one day and found her there, and that started a lot of underhand jokes whenever I went upstairs to chill with them. But this one took the cake.

 

I’m sure that shagging her must be like driving an Actros bila power steering!

 

OUCH!!

 

(For those of you who don’t know what an Actros is, eh…it’s a Prime Mover!)

 

The second one added

 

Enyewe Archer vile unapenda ma Actros, unafaa kuitwa Bayusuf!

 

DOUBLE OUCH!!!

 

(If you didn’t get that one, you cannot be helped)

 

FOKOJEMBE OF THE WEEK!!

Chirau Ali Mwakwere

So, in between soliciting for chips funga on Koinange Street at dubious hours of the night, being annointed a Mijikenda elder and chanting his party slogan “Kamata kamata zipapa” (or something like that), does  the “honourable” Minister for Transport, Chirau Ali Mwakwere, find any time to get any of his ministerial duties done?? Surely, even after COTU boss Francis Atwoli publicly asked Baba Jimmy to replace him with someone more efficient (super Minister John Michuki) during the Labour Day celebrations (much to the crowd’s pleasure) shouldn’t Mwakwere be trying hard to show that he’s not as lazy as we all know think he is? The transport system is in shambles and there’s been no sign of action from him. This man is the epitome of gross incompetence.

 

 

MWAKWERE WACHA UZEMBE….FANYA KAZI BWANA!!

Sidebar: did you know that Mwakwere has a blog? Seriously, he does!

 

What’s on my Playlist?

Crush on you – Hidden Beach Records

You know the guys who say that God is only a prayer away? Well, they lied. The Main Man had been on mteja since 9:45pm last night. I tried to hola, nutting. I tried over and over again, even asked Farmgal to hola at her Boy and ask him is how he’s lengad my vibe. So the best I could do was send him a Please Call Me and he found it in his schedule to do so a couple of minutes before the penalty shoot-out at the Luzhniki Stadium.

This is how our conversation went:

Main Man: Sup Mishale, what it do? It’s been a while!

Arch: Vipi Dadii, yes it’s been a while….iz vipi?

MM: Jus’ chillin with my angels, you know how we do!

Arch: Er…I have a ka tiny favour to ask of you

MM: If it’s about altering the flow of the big match, sahau!!

Arch: Why not, si you’re the Main Man?

MM: Yeah, but there’s something called Free Will, my son. I rarely play around with that. Who knows, one day I might get sued!

Arch: But we’re clearly the better team!!

MM: In that case, what d’you need me for?

Arch: Well, as you know, we’re going into penalties now

MM: I’m watching it on my 50-acre plasma screen

Arch: You know that’s never been our strong point

MM: Get to the point kijana

Arch: Si you make Petr Cech save all five penalties?

MM: HA!! Earth will never believe such miracles!!

Arch: OK, just one!! Kwanza ya Ronaldo!!

MM: Hmm…. I guess I can do that.

Arch: Cheers!!

MM: Wait, but what’s in it for me? You have to make a sacrifice before I can grant you this favour.

Arch: **cursing under my breath** I was hoping you’d let it slide just this once…

MM: QUIT SMOKING!!

Arch: Mazee I’ve got a loose Sporto in the pack, si you chill I clear it first then we can negotiate?

MM: **Thundering!** YOUNG MAN, YOU DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH GOD!!!!

Arch: OK OK OK OK!!!!! Hold your horses! No more gafs! I promise!!

MM: And no more alcohol!

Arch: Quit jokes, coz now you’re pushing it!

MM: You think so? Watch this!!

***Phone goes dead***

And Chelsea lost the UEFA Champions League final to Man United on penalties. Now I know how it feels at the Emirates Stadium and Anfield to end the season sans silverware. I just hope we don’t perfect the art of doing so every season just as they have.

Still, I’m proud of my boys. After a grueling season, it’s painful to have done so much only to end up short just at the finish line. Many times. We lost the Premiership in the dying minutes of the final match. We lost the Carling Cup final. We lost the Community Shield back in August. Last night, we lost the Champions League final as well.

Avram Grant, thanks for guiding us this far. You’ve proved yourself and the least you deserve is a solid contract. Yes I said it, Grant abaki! At least for one more season.

Captain John Terry, the man with the constitution of an ox. He may have (slipped on the wet grass and therefore) missed the deciding penalty, but no one can doubt his commitment to the team. This guy has saved us more times than I care to remember. Just last week he dislocated his left shoulder. He’s played severally with one broken bone or the other. Who else would sacrifice so much for his team?

The rest of the lads, y’all did well, keep your heads up.

BUT THIS IDIOT RIGHT HERE!!!!

DIDIER DROGBA, you fucking wanker! They (whoever “they” are) say that if you must eat a frog, pick the juiciest. I say if you must slap someone and earn yourself a red card, at least slap like a man, not like your wife! Don’t even bother to return to London, consider yourself persona non grata! Toka na uende, makende wewe!!!!


DROGBA MUST GO!!!!!!

Photo of the Day

I told you they were lovers!

Lovers

Drogba: Special One, will you gel my hair?

Mourinho: Of course Didi. For you, I do anything!

(Feel free to write your own caption)

What’s on my Playlist?

Crazy baldheads – Bob Marley

(This post is so overdue that it’s been overtaken by events)

Loserpool 2

We may not have won the trophy five times in Istanbul,
But we’re proud that we’ve got the chance to win it on May 21st in Moscow.

We may not have made it to the final (how many?) times
But we’re proud that we’ve made it just this once.

We may not have an experienced European manager,
But we’re proud of our “Toady” Avram Grant.

We may not have the so-called “12th man”
But we sure made do with John Arne Riise!!

We may not be building a brand new multi million-dollar 60,000 seater stadium,
But we’re extremely proud of our little fortress, Stamford Bridge.

We may (apparently) suck, we may also (apparently) be a substandard team (according to one misguided dungheap)
But unlike Loserpool, we compete on all fronts every season, consistently, and this won’t be our second (or is it third) season sans silverware.

We may not have “pedigree” “passion” “panache” and a non-existent mythical bird on our chests
But we have patience, faith, courage and a lion on our chests!

It’s better to live on hope than to survive on memories.

Last night was one of the happiest nights of my life, we FINALLY made it to the Champions League final!!! Even if we don’t win it on 21st (though I have every confidence that my boys will be more than a match for Man United) I’ll be glad that we at least made it there. The recent resurgence of Chelsea FC over the recent past has been nothing short of astounding and if only they’d played this well during the entire season, we’d have wrapped up the Premiership already. But we’re in the running, and I hope we pull it off.

I’m not really bothered about the Premier League coz Man United have a vastly superior goal difference, so it would take a miraculous perforrmance by Wigan this weekend to deny them the trophy. And Bolton won’t be easy for us either.

I’m even beginning to change my opinion of Avram Grant! I think he’s proved himself. Although I’d rather have Frank Rijkaard as manager next season.

Off to Moscow to hammer Man United and paint Red Square BLUE!!!

What’s on my playlist?

Aerodynamic – Daft Punk

Next Page »