This is a post about the boys.
What happens when your comrades, your men at arms, your amigos go off and, in an act unrelated to domestic hygiene, sweep some damsel off her feet?
Chances are that they will be handing said damsel the broom quite shortly.
But this is not the aspect that I’m looking at.
Lads have always rolled with the “bro code”. You know, bros before…er..(PC Alert) Ladies of negotiable affection aka digging implements. So we’ll embark on various dubious escapades, fuelled by alcohol and other questionable substances and set about conquering femaledom with gusto. In our wake, there will be a few broken hearts, seething emotions from spurned lasses and the occasional sore body part from defending one of the lads honor.
And then it happens.
You are at a random ‘meating’ location dazzling each other with tales of your exploits and rubbishing each others football teams. Then the lad who’s chic you all know drops a random line into the convo.
“What do you guys think about <insert name of current love interest>?”
Depending on the bond between the lads, this will either spark reactions between the cautious “She’s ok I guess” and the more likely “Dude, if you leave me alone with her in a semi lit room for 5 minutes…wacha nisiseme”
And after a few minutes of this, the dude finally comes out with it and says. “We have this nini…me and her…I’m thinking of quitting the players club man..”
If this is the first lad of the group headed for slaughter aisle bound, then the news elicits a moment of silence as the boys collectively mourn his loss of ‘freedom’
And they instantly focus on the next major aspect of this life changing decision. Yep. The stag night.
Much like the fight club, the first rule about stag parties is that you don’t talk about stag parties. Trust me ladies, the less you know about that, the better.
But the real change to the brotherhood comes after the marriage has been solemnized. The lad is now part of a unit. Back then when the lad was merely dating, the damsel went out of her way to score favour points with the boys. Now she has a license (to drive the dude nuts?) and the first course of action is change the crowd around the man. He needs to hang with like minded dudes. After all, the other lads are still chasing tail, embarking on random road trips and generally not engaging in activities likely to result in marital bliss.
This is a generally rough phase for the newly married lad. Sure you can choose to hang out with wifey and the boys. This hardly ever works out well though. Their interests have no common focus. Heck, odds are that the new wife will either cock block the boys or (possibly worse) hook em up in hopes that they will discover marital bliss..
I have no solutions for the hapless young man…maybe you do?
What’s on my Playlist?
Mos Def – Lifetime