October 2009

Just a Band 82

Just a Band 82

So you know where I’ll be this Saturday. Album review coming up as soon as Blinky Bill hooks me up with a complimentary copy!

What’s on my Playlist?

Usinibore! – Just A Band

I think many readers will agree with me that TPF 3 has largely been a success, as compared to TPF2, which was little more than a joke. We’ve been glued to the TV ever since the hilarious auditions. I think that was a great way to hype up the show. We’ve seen a better pool of singers this time round, and it’s generally been far better organized and a lot more professional. Kudos to the organizers for pulling up their socks. It all comes to an end tonight, with the winner walking away with Ksh 5 million.

The Pros

  1. I liked the theme nights, costumes and décor for the hosts and contestants
  2. The live bands, Kidum and his band, and the jazz maestro Aaron Rimbui were excellent!
  3. Judge Ian Mbugua doing what he does best, being himself.

The Cons

  1. MICH!! Seriously, who the hell picked this doofus to host the show? He is TERRIBLE on so many levels!! Mich tries hard to feign humour, which clearly he doesn’t possess. There is zero chemistry between him and his co-host Sheila Mwanyigha and this ends up watering down her efforts to be professional. The beef that he tried to create with Judge Ian was laughable, and in a battle of wits, let’s just say that he didn’t arrive at the battle with enough firepower to even faze Ian Mbugua. The beef that was there between Gaetano and Ian in TPF1 had us transfixed. EABL, tafadhali yaani pris, DO NOT HAVE THIS MAN IN TPF4!
  2. Whoever was in charge of Sheila Mwanyigha’s make up and costumes seriously has something against her. Sheila is a beautiful woman, but has been made to look like a clown with some utterly laughable hairdos, from a pet dog on her head, to Morticia from The Addam’s family, to a peacock to sijui what else. Sheila, find that person, and call me to help you beat him/her up coz enyewe, that was malice ad infinitum.

For those of you on Twitter, I’m sure you’ve been closely observing what has come to be known as #ChukiFM, where a bunch of tweepo (people on Twitter…get with the flow!) critique (and in some cases, massacre) the contestants, hosts and judges on their attire and performances. There have also been some level headed analysis on the better part. (Also check out #TPF3)

Let me do an individual assessment of all the contestants.

1. Caroline (Uganda)



Carol is a talented performer. She has a great voice and bewitching charm and knows how to work the audience using her best ASSets. Banange!! However , the comely lady from Uganda has faltered over the past two or so weeks after putting out several strong performances since the beginning of the show. In terms of musical talent, she does not have what it takes to win TPF3, but she has immense potential to be a successful recording artiste, and I foresee a bright future for her.

2. Ng’ang’a-lito



Ng’ang’a has been TPF3’s version of Hemedi from TPF2. That less talented performer who, due to his loyal female fans, didn’t leave the competition as early as he should have. In all honesty though, despite many horrendous performances, Ng’ang’a-lito has produced a few sterling performances that led us all to believe that he really can sing, if only he puts his comical theatrics aside. The fact that he has been saved by the audience several times already, despite all attempts by the judges to get rid of him by having 5 contestants on probation, shows that he stands a strong chance of winning TPF3 tonight.

I’ve had a good laugh this past week watching Ng’ang’a’s appeals for votes from the audience. Whereas other contestants appeal for votes saying “I know I’m a good singer…” etc, Ng’ang’a feels jack for all that. All he wants is THE MONEY! “I can smell the money! Super-lito plus the 5 million-ito…” I’m tempted to say that he conforms to his ethnic stereotype, but we all know that tribal jokes are a no-go zone in Kenya these days.

3. Patricia (Kenya)



Patricia has been, in my opinion, the strongest contestant ever since the beginning of the show. At some point, she was the clear favourite to win the Ksh 5 million. She has only been on probation once during the competition (save for last weekend where all contestants were on probation). She has wowed us with a string of brilliant performances, and she still remains my pick to win TPF3.

However, she will not win the competition. She earned herself stinging criticism from Kenyans on Facebook after she voted to save Ng’ang’a and have Debarl eliminated from the competition.

This is where I wonder which part of their anatomy is involved in some people’s thinking process, for I’m convinced that their mental faculties had taken a hiatus from their responsibilities. This is an INDIVIDUAL competition. The contestants did not go there to make friends or to have loyalties of whatever nature. They have to formulate strategies that will enhance their chances of winning. That’s what a competition is all about. All contestants knew from the day that they walked in, that at some point, they will be voted out by their fellow contestants.

There is no doubt that Debarl is talented, the man can sing! But after his below-par rendition of Nameless’ “Deadly” (which rivals Ng’ang’a’s rendition of a San Fan Thomas song for terrible-ness) he was bound to leave either way. What Patricia did was to employ logic, and a winning strategy to eliminate the stronger contestant, hoping that later on Ng’ang’a’s musical journey will come to an end. If Debarl had stayed in the competition, it would have made things very difficult for Patricia later on. If I had been in Patricia’s shoes, I would have done the same thing, and I’m sure that many of you agree with me. Sometimes in life, one has to make difficult, painful decisions.

4. Alpha (Rwanda)



As things stand right now, Alpha stands the strongest chance of winning TPF3. He s a clear favourite among female voters, more so for his looks than his musical talent. I’m not trying to imply that he is not a good singer, that he is. My main criticism is that he is a shouter. The same view has been expressed by the judges. There is a clear difference between singing and shouting, and he is more of a professional in the latter. When it comes to reggae songs, Alpha is brilliant! His original composition was a joy to behold, in fact he earned himself a standing ovation from the audience after his performance. But his musical talent is only in one genre of music, reggae. Compared to Patricia, she is strong in several genres.

My Predictions

Two schools of thought exist as to what is supposed to happen tonight, as compared to what will actually happen.

Going purely by musical talent, my fellow tweeps suggest that the results SHOULD be as follows

  1. Patricia (winner)
  2. Alpha (1st Runner Up)
  3. Caroline (2nd Runner Up)
  4. Ng’ang’a

However, the second school of thought has it that the organizers of TPF3, East Africa Breweries Ltd (EABL), have to get their money’s worth in the end. This, after all, is a marketing venture for them. They already have a strong presence in Kenya and Tanzania, I dunno how well they’re doing in Uganda, but there is immense potential in Rwanda which is the next market that they intend to venture into. Therefore, it is in their best interests for Alpha to win the competition. I’m not trying to imply that EABL will rig the votes, but the fact that Alpha is the clear favourite amongst the female audience works perfectly in their favour. Ng’ang’a-lito is also another favourite amongst older female viewers and the gay community.

Therefore, the winner of TPF3 will not necessarily be the one who deserves to win based on musical talent.

Therefore, according to some of the members of #ChukiFM, myself included, the final results WILL be as follows.

  1. Alpha/Ng’ang’a (on the basis of votes from female voters. Alpha will probably get the swing vote from Tanzania, who have no contestant left in the competition, while Kenyan ladies have been furiously voting in favour of Ng’ang’a)
  2. Caroline (Ugandans will definitely vote for her)
  3. Patricia (Ng’ang’a will have split the Kenyan votes to her detriment)

So, what do you make of my predictions? Feel free to share yours.

All in all, big ups to all the tweeps in #ChukiFM, (mko wengi, na mnajijua) for keeping this competition lively and entertaining! Special commendation goes to the big wise man from the mountain, the soothsayer himself, @mountainous for having all his probation predictions spot on during the entire competition.

Tune in to the grand finale tonight, only on Twitter.


But of course I had to throw in some Lumi! You know I had to!



Eye candy! Forget the tu outfit, this woman is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Illuminata illuminated me, nikamulika, until she was er…eliminated. I cried that day, karibu I ran to her send off party at K1 to get Christian’s scrawny paws off her.

In other news…

It’s fair to say that we have been entertained by the contestants who appeared during the commercial breaks. The Michael Jackson wannabe (“I remember…when we…fell in loooooove…”) the Rwandan guy with “Baby Gar Baby Gar Baby gaaaaaaaar…..oooooooh Baby Gar!” and the Ugandan rastafari (gildigildigildi..brrrrrrrrbbaba) eh…do you think they got paid by EABL for being used in the adverts? I think they SHOULD be paid!!

What’s on my Playlist?

The Whisper Song – Beenie Man.