Man bag

So apparently, I own a man bag. It has never struck me as a fashion accessory, but more as a must have item for the modern man. The man bag has been called all sorts of names from murse (man purse) to others, including several connotations that have a gay twist. (Some bags do look suspect though) But on a general level, today’s man has so many gadgets that need to be carried somewhere! From multiple cellphones, flashdisks, cables, cameras, laptops…you name it. Even Jack Bauer has one for crying out loud, and he’s the ϋber-male!

My own bag has been dissed left, right and centre, mostly by bloggers. I shall not name names, but Farmgal, Ken (Cock and Bull), Modoathii and Milo have played their part in dissing this very vital accessory.

Recently, I decided to empty the contents of my bag and list them down. Even I was surprised! You see, things keep going in and rarely come out, so I end up accumulating a lot of stuff. So here goes:

  • Notebooks, text books and writing pads
  • Pencil porch – with enough pens and pencils to supply a primary school class – they didn’t call me “Stationery Department” in high school for nothing!
  • A pack of cigarettes, matches and a lighter (in case someone privatizes either)
  • 2 cellphones
  • Laptop and power cable
  • Passport
  • MP3 player (Pinky) and noise-blocking earphones
  • USB cable for MP3 player
  • School ID card
  • 2 flashdisks (in case either one should be misplaced, stolen or malfunction)
  • Lots of menthol gum and wrappers (I’m a smoker, remember?)
  • Pack of Fetherlite condoms (you never know, things can change in a minute!!)
  • Digital camera
  • Spare batteries and chargers for phones
  • Loose cash – about Ksh 400 (in case someone should privatize my wallet)
  • House keys
  • Jacket or sweater (sometimes)– depending on the weather
  • 500ml mineral water or soda – I’ve fainted twice in the last few months due to heat and dehydration soit’s only wise that I constantly stay hydrated
  • Painkillers – I get very painful migraines which attack when I least expect them
  • Spectacles case
  • Contact lenses – in case I should end up near a pool table
  • Sunglasses (for when I wear the contacts – my glasses are photochromatic)
  • Cap

I showed this list to a pal of mine, who concluded that it shows that I am somewhat insecure and not very trusting of people, owing to some of the items that I have in twos. Truth is, I hate being inconvenienced. I use my phones constantly so my batteries tend to run out within 3 or 4 hours, hence the spare batteries and the chargers. I’ve had several mishaps with flashdisks so I carry two which contain duplicate data. That also explains the loose cash, condoms, painkillers etc.

My man bag isn’t going anywhere soon so I suggest that you all get some creative imagination. It is not necessarily a hint that one is metrosexual or gay for that matter. I find it very odd that Kenyans are more suspicious of a dude carrying a man bag than the dozens walking around in pink shirts. Me thinks THEY are more suspect, coz you all know my beef with pink shirts!

Now that I have officially endorsed the man bag, go out and buy yourself one. But please be careful to follow the following tips:

It should be

small, sleek, lightweight, and definitely not look like a purse. It’s a way to carry a little something extra that wouldn’t fit into the pockets of a pair of khakis without creating unsightly bulges. Briefcases, messenger bags and backpacks are not man bags. They are too large and bulky to carry on a daily basis without looking like you’re headed to school or work. Fannypacks are a no-no, unless you want to look like an uber-geek and repel women. Also, stay away from fancy designs, patterns, or the color pink. Flight, utility, and certain camera bags generally fall into the category of man bags.

Check out a few designs here.

What’s on my Playlist?

Sauti Sol – Lazizi