It’s rather obvious that the male and female minds work in very different ways. Sometimes what may be as clear as day to one gender is complete Greek to the other. And most times it’s we dudes who come out the worse. Coz we’re simple creatures really, we say what we mean and we mean what we say (unless we’re lying to you). So, ladies, please help us understand a few things by answering a couple of questions.

1. Is there a difference between dating and being in a relationship? If so, what is it? Someone I know is of the opinion that dating is ‘seeing each other with the intention of getting into a relationship.’ WTF????? So what if you’re already doing everything that a couple in a relationship normally does, including being vetted by meeting close friends and even family?

2. a) Does the fact that you’re merely dating and not in a relationship mean that either party is free to walk out of the arrangement at any time without owing as much as an explanation to the other?

b) Does the fact that you’re dating and not in a relationship mean that it is in fact an open relationship, in that either party is free to date other people before making a decision on whom to enter into a relationship with?

c) If you’re dating, does having ‘relations’ with someone else qualify as cheating? Coz how can it be cheating if you’re not in a relationship? And if you found out that the person you’re dating had relations with someone else, do you have the right to be upset about it?

I’m defeated! Nimeshindwa!

2. Do women really apply the tips in Cosmo magazine when it comes to guys? Apparently there are several criteria that are used for gauging a guy as potential boyfriend/husband/baby daddy material. The way he eats his food, the way he ties his tie, the way he shaves his facial hair etc.

Just last night I was reading the latest edition of Cosmo, and it had an article about judging a dude by the way he grooms his pubes!!! Apparently there are four categories: those who don’t bother, (aka Republicans) those who give the nethers a polite trimming and shaping, those who shave the shaft of the “artillery” and the “supporting accessories”, and those who shave the nethers completely. Listed under each is an explanation of the dude’s probable personality and character.

Seriously? Do women actually apply this stuff? Is this realistic in any way? When you meet a dude, do you compare all these things to the chart in Cosmo so as to deduce what kind of person he may be? If that’s the case, gentlemen, I highly suggest that you include Cosmo, True Love and a couple of other women’s magazines in your monthly subscriptions besides Adam, Men’s Health and Autocar. Tunapimwa kutumia ma-criteria ata hatuzijui!!

In other news:

***This section of the post has been edited for personal reasons. If you missed it, well…too bad!***

What’s on my Playlist?

K’naan ft. Tracy Chapman – Voices.