The other day as I strolled leisurely strolled around campus, I spied from afar a familiar lanky fellow walking in my direction. WTF?? Nooo, it can’t be! As he came closer and closer, my worst fears were confirmed. It was indeed Obadiah.

See, Obadiah and I go way back to my days in South Africa. Said imbecile was in my uni and we lived in the same building for a year. He dated a close friend of mine. But Obadiah was (and probably still is) an elephant’s anus. He was immensely petty, irritating and overly opinionated about everything. None of the Kenyans liked him but we had to tolerate his presence coz we all loved his girlfriend. She was an angel and totally lovable. It was said many times that if she were to dump him, that would be the end of his story. And I think he knew that since no one ever invited him for plans, he just tagged along with his girlfriend. And he did his best to be Mr Goody two shoes coz any hint of fishy activity would signal the end of his relationship.

We clashed several times over the years, and I was tempted to punch him several times but coz I didn’t want siasa mingi, I simply kept away from him.

Among the sityooopid things that he did include bitching on fellow boys whenever guys played an away match. He’s the type of guy who everyone shuts up when he walks into the room coz his big mouth was legendary.

I bought a PC in April 2006 and it cost me an arm and a leg. So obviously I was over-protective of it for the first few months after I bought it. Then in June 2006 I left for Johannesburg to spend the winter vacation with family. Upon my return, I was horrified to discover that some cretin had opened my CPU and stolen my IDE cables, DVD drive and my RAM chips and replaced them with older ones. Someone literally went shopping in my CPU! I launched an investigation and discovered that Obadiah had spent a lot of time on my PC unsupervised. (I left my room unlocked at my housemates request so they could watch movies and play music on my PC)

So I took the lift down to Obadiah’s flat and confronted him. I asked to see his PC (which was quite old and prone to the occasional breakdown) and best believe my parts were in his CPU. Well, he knows my short fuse is as legendary as his big mouth and I was surprised that he had the guts to do that! I practically ripped apart his CPU and took back my hardware, while he stood there smiling sheepishly saying “Ok, you got me. I just didn’t think you’d notice!”

Bastard.

During my final month in South Africa, while I was still trying to make up my mind as to whether I should return in 2007, I chose to end my lease coz I didn’t want to pay a full month’s rent since I was to get my air ticket just a few days into December. Without a place to stay for a few days, his girlfriend offered me her sofa on condition that I contributed towards the rent for the duration that I’d be there and pulled my weight around the house in terms of buying food and keeping the house clean. I’d put up all my stuff for sale and Obadiah wanted to buy my Panasonic hi-fi. We agreed on an amount, but also agreed that we would subtract the amount that I was to pay for rent from that amount and he’d give me the balance.

Just a few days later, Obadiah and I crossed paths over some petty issue or the other, and out of anger I told him that my staying in his flat didn’t give him the right to be an asshole and to order me around, after which he suggested that I should leave. I called up another pal and she let me stay at her place. I called Obadiah and informed him that I’d found a place to go, so I’d be coming round for my stuff and for the money that he owed me. Guess what happened when I got to his place, I found all my stuff, which I’d packed neatly the same morning, literally thrown out of the digz and strewn all over the corridor! WTF?!!! In addition, he tripled the rent that we’d agreed on and gave me a paltry R500 for a 2000W Panasonic 5 CD + MP3 + DVD changer that cost me over R2500 just months before!

I stayed at my other pal’s place for about five or so days before my ticket arrived, during which time I sold off my PC and other stuff that I couldn’t carry to Nairobi. On the morning of my departure, about 5am, the cab picked me up and we headed to the airport. I asked the cab driver to pass by my former building (where Obadiah lived) and I went in, took the lift up and rang his bell. Obadiah answered with

“What the fuck do you want?”

I grabbed him by the collar and head-butted him in the nose as hard as I could, and followed that up with a series of left and right hooks that clearly caught him off guard and left him no time to react. Then I turned around, got into the lift to Ground floor, got into the cab and proceeded to the airport.

I came to understand just how cold some Kenyans can be towards someone who we don’t like. I was very close to my housemate Q coz he used to date my best friend. And he was very close to Obadiah’s girlfriend. She used to come over to our flat really late in the night to hang out with him, and I used to keep them company for a while then I retired to bed. (up to now, Q’s the only person I know who sleeps later than I do) According to me, there was nothing untoward about their relationship and the late hours she used to spend at my flat coz I knew they were just friends. That was until one night when I heard some serious sauti za mapenzi from across the wall and only then did it hit me that she was cheating on Obadiah with Q!

How cool!

Eventually the whole Kenyan gang got to know about their clandestine affair, which went on for several months, but no one told Obadiah! The dude was in the dark the whole time. She couldn’t leave him even though she believed their relationship had broken down irretrievably, coz they were cohabiting and neither of them could afford to pay the rent and the utility bills solo.

Obadiah did eventually find out about the affair, but he was more horrified that everyone, including his so called friends, knew about it and no one told him. He dumped her (she had a job then, and could afford to pay the rent by herself) and the Kenyan gang quickly disowned him since he had outlived his usefulness. Everyone just left! Isolated, humiliated and frudstrated, he quit the university and transferred his credits…TO MY CURRENT UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!

WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?????!!

Of all places he could transfer his diab to, he chose here? (What I’m more surprised at is that they gave him his transcripts and nyimad me mine, so I’ve had to start uni from scratch!) Now I have to see his ugly face every single day and try to be civil?

He probably has intentions of returning the beating that I gave him that warm morning in December 2006, but I’ll be ready. Si sasa tuko home ground? Bring it on, Obadiah, bring it on!!!

Photo of the day

Courtesy of one Xs, though I don’t have the link to the original photo.

Hard-ball tactics
Hard-ball tactics

What’s on my Playlist?

Smiley Faces – Gnarls Barkley