I’ve had a problem falling asleep for some years. Take for example right now. It’s 5:10am Friday morning and I haven’t slept since early on Thursday. I’ve tried everything, I’ve watched a couple of series on my PC and some bootleg DVDs, I’ve tried inducing sleep with Cold Cap…nothing. I’m slowly downing a bottle of Viceroy and Coke while typing out some random stuff on the PC but I’ve trashed around 7 drafts coz they all came out as crap. Even Barry White, neo soul and trying to beat my high score at snake on my ka 1110i isn’t helping.

It all began in high school where we were systematically deprived of sleep in form 4. We’d wake up at 4:45am and “officially” go to bed shortly before midnight, but coz I knew I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and there was no way I was going to leave Kenya’s premier national school with a Cabbage (Grade C) I’d be cramming my mwakenya notes under the sheets using a torch. It paid off eventually coz sikupata cabbage.

I thought that eventually I’d make up for the massive sleep debt that I’d accumulated lakini wapi? Having the penguin “helped” quite a lot coz I’d be online 24 7 and there was always a pal awake in a time zone somewhere in the world so we’d chat for hours, I’d catch up on blogs and read about random weirdos and strange phenomena on Wikipedia. But when the sleep eventually does kick in, I can sleep for hours! In fact on most Sundays I only wake up to feed Sunki then after that I’m back to bed. When bed becomes too hot and boring, I go turn on the TV, put it on mute and sleep some more.

Does anyone know where I can purchase some agricultural tranquilizers, the ones they use to immobilize bulls and horses? No? Might you know someone in KWS who can swing me a bit of that stuff they shoot rhinos with before they transport them from one national park to another?

I think I’ll have to seek professional help. In the meantime, these are some of the posts that survived the chop.

*Update* it started raining at about 6:05am so best believe I was deep in Slumberland Motel within 10 minutes. I think I’ll make a 10 minute MP3  of the pitter patter going on outside, then I’ll plug in the earphones once I’m in bed. Solution, sivyo?

What’s on my Playlist?

Ignorant Sh*t – Jay Z

(yaani mpaka I’m listening to sh*t hop? These are miracles!!)