Jose Mourinho quits as Chelsea Manager 

Ai hapana!! Hapa nimekataa!! Someone slap me hard, pinch my nuts, just do something! Tell me I’m hallucinating coz shit, I am!! Kweli dunia imepasuka mahali.

The Special One

The Special One

Wee wacha mchezo dadii!! Seriously, how do you quit on the week we’re playing Manchester United??

Someone go find that man!! Farmgal DO SOMETHING!! Skive jobo, go find Mourinho IMMEDIATELY!!! (I know his home address) say your prayers, smack the good love of the Holy Spirit into his short ass and drag him by the ear down Fulham Road all the way to Stamford Bridge ! Alafu you lock him in his office and get Michael “Wafula” Essien and John Terry to administer further discipline!

Then, WHO THE FUCK IS AVRAM GRANT?!! Abramovich get serious with life! How do you replace Mourinho with this un-known thing? We don’t want him!!!! In that case, Abramovich might as well have appointed himself manager!

Mkienda Old Trafford this weekend, bebeni Vaseline tafadhali.

I’m depressed. Seriously. I’m so getting wasted today. Good thing that Mwenda’s opens in two hours’ time. Consolation tequilas and Viceroy can be offered pare pare.  I’ll be the chap at the counter with a long face.

What’s on my Playlist?

What the Fuck?! – Fat Boy Slim