Haiyaa?! You guys haven’t heard this fresh track yet? Kwani which world do y’all live in? I read somewhere that Ogopa Djs used to be Techno DJs before they went into commercial music production. So I heard this song and trust alcohol to fcuk up your thought process and give you such strange ideas for a music video. I don’t know the name of the song but it’s a well known techno track. Before you continue reading, I recommend downloading the track so you can understand what I’m talking about.

Click HERE to download the track.

So this is the story. (Open up your minds and see the music video!!) Ama does anyone know how I can YouTube my dreams?

Ogopa Djs are driving back to Nairobi from doing some biashara in Mombasa, and their car breaks down somewhere in the heart of Ukambani. So they step out into the scorching sun to look for assistance. Their cellphones are bila network since they’re in the middle of the bundus, so they’re forced to walk a couple of kilometres in the scorching mid day sun to get to the nearest trading centre.

Upon reaching the trading centre, they ask around for a mechanic, and the locals direct them to a derelict garage where they find Kavindu, the local crooner sitting on a rock and strumming a tune on his guitar. Now, Kavindu is the quintessential kao brother. Green shirt, faded  Savco pipe jeans, a red Stetson hat, yellow socks and brown leather shoes (moccasins, sharp shooters!), and has the accent to match. One Ogopa DJ looks at the other and says this dude’s got talent! So they stop for a while and listen to his tunes. (Y’all know the way Kaoz are pros on the guitar. Kina Katitu Boys, Musaimo….Rolling Stones ain’t got nutting on them!!)

After sampling Kavindu’s jams, they see an opportunity to make something out of it. So they get the car fixed, throw in Kavindu and his guitar and his red godfather hat (godpapa!!) Kichwani, straw of grass in mouth and head for Nairobi….moja kwa moja mpaka kwenye studio. No time to be wasted here. They instruct Kavindu to shut up and play the same tune he was playing when they found him sitting on the rock back in the heart of Ukambani. So he does that while they quickly come up with some techno beats for the song. After the work is done, off goes Kavindu back to wherever the hell he came from.

Seeing that Ogopa are…….well….Ogopa, they have that kind of influence on radio stations, they give demo CDs to all the major radio stations to play them. At first the radio guys are reluctant to do so coz this new beat is so out of the ordinary, but they do, just to test the waters. The song gets played on Capital, Kiss assassinate it (as they do to all songs) Hot 96 and Easy FM. At first listeners reactions are “WTF is this?” But with time, Ogopa Djs vs Kavindu slowly starts sinking into guys heads, it quickly becomes the most requested song on radio, it rises to the top of the East African charts and everyone’s calling radio stations to ask who this Kavindu character is!! Ogopa Djs are forced to drive back to Ukambani to fetch this Kavindu fellow and by the time he arrives in the big city, he’s a celebrity!!

Breakfast show interviews, photo sessions with the usual celeb groupies (they know themselves) and CD signing sessions follow. Everyone gets to see that Kavindu is just a small time mechanic from Ukambani who’s risen to become an instant celeb, so they put his shadiness kando. Then Kavindu gets lots of requests to be the showstopper act at many gigs in Nairobi and all over Kenya. Kavindu huyooooooo! Carni, Mombasa, Kisumu, all over the place just strumming his guitar to the beat. Staying in top hotels, the finest liquors at his disposal, the girls swarming all over him making him lost for choice, Green Day and Matchbox 20 requesting for a collabo.

But after a while Kavindu realizes that this fast pace of life in the big city is not for him. He starts to get tired of all these fancy meals in top restaurants where one needs to use a fork and knife. Everyone here is so fussy and detached from reality. He craves for the simple life that he once had before he became a star. He’s been getting letters from his friends back in the village criticizing him for forgetting about them once he became a big star in
Nairobi. Big dilemma for man Kavindu. What I ndo now?

One Friday evening when Kavindu is due to perform at Pavement, he pulls a disappearing act. Ogopa are all over the place searching frantically for their latest cash cow. The crowd is going mad. “Kavindu! Kavindu!” they scream. But alas, mkamba nutting. Nowhere to be seen. The next morning’s sunrise finds Kavindu back in Ukambani, at the garage near the trading centre, on his usual rock, totally at peace with the world, strumming away peacefully with no one but the skinny miserable mongrels to bug him, his mind reminiscing over his short lived period of fame in the big city.

A.O.B

A new Korean car manufacturer had built a couple of prototypes of their cars, but they couldn’t come up with a name for either. So they decided to tour the world with their car, do a few demonstrations here and there and ask people for suggestions as to what they should name their car. Finally, the Koreans arrive in Kenya with their cars, and head right to Ukambani to do some hot weather testing. A small crowd of curious and excited Kaos gather to see the demos.

After taking a couple of young men on a demo ride in the cars, they continue with their quest to find a name for the car. So one ching chong asks one Kao

“What happen if I put your flend there, my car come veli fast to where you are stand, and closs over him veli fast?”

To which, the Kao responds “Eh….si Hyu-ndai?”

And thus the Hyundai company came into being.