I’m using the term “great” very loosely here coz it would only be a great sporting weekend depending on which side of the fence your bum is planted. If you’re a Manchester United, Arsenal or Ferrari fan, poleni sana. No great sporting weekend for you. If you’re a Chelsea FC fan (Farmgal! Niaje niaje?) or a McLaren Mercedes fan, then definitely the weekend was great.

First things first. Premiership leaders Manchester United lost ground to defending champions Chelsea FC after dropping three valuable points to Portsmouth. Chelsea on the other hand beat Tottenham Hotspurs 1:0 at Stamford Bridge. Arsenal……ah, your story is over. There’s nothing of significance that any gooner is telling anyone until next season so y’all best shut up!

Last night’s Champions League fixture was another story altogether! Manchester United….why lie, bow down, bow down, bow down. Maximum respect! These fellows came back from a 2:1 aggregate and hammered AS Roma 7:1 at Old Trafford!!

Chelsea managed to overturn a first half lead by Valencia to beat them 2:1 at their so called “iron fortress” of a stadium. What nonsense!

As for today’s match between Liverpool and PSV Eindhoven, I think that’s just a formality. All that Liverpool has to do is show up at Anfield. And the rest is history.

A word of caution to both teams,

First, Manchester United. We still have a premiership game in hand at Stamford Bridge later next month (and probably the FA Cup final), at a stadium that’s almost half the size of your beloved “Theatre of Dreams” and has even less history. But we’re proud of the little that we have. We’re unbeaten in 80 Premiership matches at Stamford Bridge, and Manchester United have a poor record against Chelsea in the last few years, so if y’all think you’ll come to school us at home, FORGET IT!! Remember last season’s corresponding fixture where we not only thrashed you 3:0 and ran away with the Premiership trophy, but we sent Ricardo Carvalho up on Wayne Rooney and you don’t need me to remind you who came out the worse. I’m informed that Carvalho and Terry have been reviewing that video very carefully. So you best warn Shrek Rooney not to show his ugly face in our penalty area or else!! Another thing is that with an aged goalkeeper like Van der Sar who can’t stop a decent shot without sending it right back to the opponent’s striker to shoot in the rebound, and the blundering Rio Ferdinand, it would be an ill advised move to come to Stamford Bridge in that condition. Tutawararua vilivyo. Second, Liverpool FC, y’all know we got beef between us. Not about Community Shield earlier this season, that was a small cup. We’re not bothered about it. We still have a score to settle over the 2005 Champions League semi final whereLiverpool’s controversial goal sent them (rather undeservedly) into the final. Photographs and videos released by UEFA after the match show that the ball DID NOT cross over the line, but was cleared by William Gallas. But that’s soccer, human error is part of the game. Liverpool DID NOT deserve to go into that final, but they surely deserved to win once they got there and I’ll give them full respect for that. No other team on earth could have done what Liverpool did that night in Istanbul. But debts are debts and we’re here to collect ours in full!!

Where are the Man U fans? Kirima and Mwangi? Say something! Liverpudlians, kina Acolyte, Bantu, say something!! Arsenal fans, you know yourselves, may I again remind you to shut up!!

What’s on my playlist?

Shake your body (down to the ground) – Michael Jackson