Welcome folks to my half furnished casa. I set up this blog in early December, just for the sake of it, and only later as I was searching for a new template for my Blogger.com blog did I realize that you cannot customize templates to your specific liking as you can do on WordPress.
But I have to admit that WP is a b*tch!! Mad props to all you guys on WP. Last week I tried to figure out how to upload pictures and add links onto a post and I was stuck at the cybercafe for close to four hours trying to figure it out. I won’t hide the fact that I’m not very tech savvy.
Anyway, this blog is still a work in progress and I intend to customize it as I go along. I’m so bored of Blogger so I decided to change scenery just for a day. You know the way the English Football Association have to carry out the mandatory tests of the new Wembley Stadium before it’s ready for public use (to host the F.A. Cup final in May, which for your information was last won by Chelsea FC at the old Wembley back in 2000, and we intend to be the first team to lift the trophy at the new Wembley. But do I say?) Well that’s the same thing I’m doing today. I’m learning how to check your I.P. addresses so I can block some of your rubbish comments at will. Well, the only ones I’ll block are from the KBW resident lunatic who posts 4000+ comments. In fact, if anyone knows where he’s at, tell him that today, only today, I’ll let him run riot up in here (but he’s limited to only two 4000 word comments. Beyond that I’ll find him and shoot an arrow through his right testicle)
So now, this is what I need from you guys, especially if you’re already using WordPress.
a) How do you customize the picture at the header section of the blog? (Up there, where the moon is)b) how do you cross out a section of sentence by drawing a line across the text?c) Who can recommend a good spam catcher? And how do I fix it onto the blog?d) how do I write the Copyright notice at the bottom of the blog?e) how do I find out which version of WordPress I’m using? 1.5? 2.0? 22.214.171.124.0.0.0.1? 4.6 HSE?
These may sound very easy but just understand that I really racked my brains trying to do all this and still achieved nothing! And the help pages for WordPress are in greek so I’m allowed to skip that part. It’s not as if I chew HTML and XML codes and widgets for breakfast. Who do WordPress take me to be? M??
Ok now that I’ve bored your brains out lemme change the topic. It’s interesting the way things change so fast within a year. At the beginning of last year just before I left for my final stint in Afrikanerland, KTN and Capital FM were my favourite TV and radio stations. At the end of last year things had changed. Nowadays I rarely watch KTN (maybe it’s coz Julie Gichuru moved over to NTV and KTN have refused to upgrade Kasavuli’s wardrobe. That purple suit she wears every other day is so gross!) and I wake up every morning at 6am to catch Cess Mutungi and Ngatia on Hot 96. Those two crack me up! Last week Ngatia had this dream that he was a werewolf and Cess was a big juicy sausage. So he asked Cess to interpret his dream and she concluded that since a werewolf is a ruthless carnivore and she was a sausage, perhaps the dream is an expression of his subconscious fantasy to dish her up, literally. Apparently Ngatia has some sexual frustration that he would like to release through her. How now?
Then there are these two characters who present a late afternoon show on 98.4 Capital FM (I don’t know their names. I’m usually just whiling away the time having tea and waiting for Grace Msalame to do her thing on KTN Str8 Up so I don’t pay much attention) So one of them found a new word to misuse in every sentence. The word is “ensconced” but he pronounces it with so much vigour that it sounds like en-skwuon-st. At first sound, I figured that to ensconce means to put something into something else e.g. enclose. But I never bothered to look up the meaning. Dude kept on using it over and over again so I looked up the word and this is what I found
En.sconce/ Ensconc.ed/ Ensconc.ing:1. To settle (oneself) safely and securely2. To place or conceal in a safe place
So, people! The word of the day is ensconce. Let’s see how creative you guys are. Try to use the word ensconced in your comments at least once (e.g. “Archer… this is how to ensconce the spam catcher onto your blog”)
Now can you all enskwuons yourselves (but not each other tafadhali-save that for the privacy of your homes) into my comments page!!