Spotted on Kiambu Road…

…and the sign leads to here….

Ok, it’s good to be ambitious, but when you put up a sign for an international whatever the hell it was supposed to be, I’m guessing “international cuisine?” and then the sign leads right into a forest ON KIAMBU ROAD!!! Are you sick, mad or both the three of the above? Even a certified lunatic wouldn’t walk into a forest on Kiambu Road to quench his thirst. Getting chopped up into little pieces isn’t part of my plans for the new year.

Cornmen? LOL! But why the phone number? I mean, you’ve already said that the plot is not for sale, so why would anyone want to call you just to get the message repeated to him? Ama it’s for reporting the cornmen?

All you KBW folk and your regular meet ups at Buffet Park consuming metres upon metres of mutura (Aegeus), Picana mango juice (Gish, Shiroh & Nakeel) and a five litre Keringet (EGM) and you’ve never seen this sign before? No prize for you!

Speaking of which, the waitors at Buffet Park had refused to serve our table coz only two people out of like 10 were consuming alcohol. Have you ever seen guys who walk into a pub, very confidently, and order for KERINGET??

Waitor: Boss, hiyo hatuna!

EGM: Sawa basi lete Dasani au Kilimanjaro. Na uharakishe!

I guess the timetable speaks for itself.

Coming to a giant billboard near you! Omo Progress with super duper powerfoam plus, and bleach.

I was at Nairobi stalls a couple of weeks ago looking for the Chelsea FC away kit for this season then I came across these eh…items.

Si the red one is screaming out for attention of the “horizontal rhumba” (Kipepeo 2007) kind? Tena hii ni ya vertical rhumba! Standings!! Word of caution to the ladies who complain of men gawking at their goodies….when you left your house wearing an outfit like this, what did you expect? If you didn’t want unsolicited attention then you should have worn a buibui! Wanawake wa Nairobi jameni, pris ngo srowry on us!

So how did I take this picture?

This sign is at the lower parking at the Village Market, facing the newly constructed “American Village.” I have to say, I think that was a very dumb idea, building a village solely for Americans. Isolating yourselves only makes you an easier target for potential terrorist attacks. Think about it, if someone wanted to get rid of a whole bunch of Yankees, where would you drop a bomb? Ahaa! You have been warned!!

Yes that’s a Britania Digestive biscuit. Ma excitoz bana! Understand! When was the last time you had one? Well I haven’t had one in years so as you can see, I robbed the poor school-kid in the background of his last one!! I used to love the crunchy ones that had a layer of chocolate underneath. Wonder where they went. Then there’s the Butterscotch biscuits that were shaped like gold bars and the wrapper was red and black with a checked design. Anyone remember those? They used to sell them at Uchumi a while ago (and Kasuku Centre in Kileleshwa). I used to take little bites and suck the sweetness out of them before chewing and swallowing them. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND THEM? I’d give (almost) anything to have a pack or six right now.

So how would one use it if it’s out of order? Si you’re a bright one?

Eh….difference being?

That’s my fridge on the average Friday evening. University students are very stressed out people, so IT’S ALLOWED!! (Note that the only edible stuff is half an onion and a jar of mayo. Hehe!)

Are you serious? You honestly don’t expect me to leave my goldfish outside, do you? What if she catches the flu?

And finally, I’ve learnt the hard way not to make bets or accept dares that you won’t be able to win or fulfill! I had one such bet with Kipepeo in January and lost. (Don’t ask. It’s a long story) So, for losing, she dared, no, ordered me to post a picture of my toes! Well, I’m not a sore loser, so there you go Kipepeo. Knock yourself out.

To the rest of you psychos, washana with my toes! Ichiena stop copy pasting, I can see you!