This is Archer coming to you LIVE from O. R. Tambo International Airport (formerly Johannesburg International) about to board a Kenya Airways Boeing 737 flight 461 to Nairobi.

I can’t believe that I’ll be on home soil in just over four hours! The way I’ve waited desperately to leave this fucked up joint aki it’s not even funny! Anyway it’s all over now. Yaaaay!

I’ve already spoken to the Captain and he’s assured me that its full speed ahead. Hii mambo ya cruising along leisurely sitaki! It shall not be tolerated at all!

So if anyone sees some lunatic on KTN news this evening, clad in a Harambee Stars jersey, jumping up and down at JKIA and kissing the ground repeatedly, that would most definitely be me! Best believe! So make sure y’all record that shyte!

Ok who’s throwing pints at Kwaheri Bar? Kenyanchick? Kipepeo? I’m open to any offers!

Isukuti dancers je? Aegeus & Ichiena niaje? Si you organize that welcoming committee? Wacha kuangalia kando! Ati “who….me?” YES…YOU! And there’s still time so better get cracking! LOL!!

Stackofstiffys I wasn’t going to leave you out dadii! You bring your dark shades, look very stonefaced and intimidating just to keep the press at bay! But if its Julie Gichuru… that one just let her through chap chap!

NA HAPA SIRUDI TENA! As the good professor of mathematics George Saitoti would say “Kabisa kabisa kabisa!!”