June 2006

Two or three years ago it would be considered a cardinal sin for any man worth his salt to possess any pink garment, handkerchief included. I guess this was to avoid any association with any form of femininity or homosexuality. Besides, pink just ain’t cool for the male species, it doesn’t matter if you’re rolling in a fleet of pink Maybach 62s, IT JUST AIN’T COOL!!!

Enter 2005/2006 where everything pink, from shirts, ties, suits etc are suddenly the hype, considered cool, trendy and fashionable…for men! The first time I saw a dude in a pink shirt I thought to myself “omera what the f*** are you thinking? Hebu go check yourself!” But more and more guys keep sporting pink polo shirts, caps…the works. Nowadays pink shirts and matching ties have become acceptable formal/official wear! How now?

Even my boys who considered themselves “hard-core defenders of everything male” joined the bandwagon, and the last straw was when my better half (who just happens to looooove pink!) tried to get me with the programme! Hell naw! There’s absolutely no way in hell you’re getting me into any pink article of clothing! I HATE THE COLOUR PINK! The only things spared from this hatred of pink are of course: the sweet center of inner physical feminine beauty, strawberry milkshake and ham. OK maybe Pink Panther as well. But that’s it!

I have a theory for how this pink revolution started. All major fashion trends emerge from the major fashion houses of Paris, Milan and new York, right? Me thinks the big shot designers, celebrities and fashionistas (or whatever they call themselves) were going through a creativity drought and decided to have a bet amongst each other to see who could come up with a brand new trend that involve something that has never been considered in fashion ever! So one guy decided to take the pink route, and got some celebs to wear his stuff, and knowing how anything, however outrageous and ugly but endorsed by celebs will sell! (Air Force One sneakers, those shady ass retro G Unit sneakers etc) Shortly the whole world followed suit!

Doesn’t anyone realize that maybe we’re pawns in a much bigger game being played between much bigger powers? Coz do we really have an option of whether or not to clothe ourselves in their stuff? Must every brand or trend that’s been endorsed by celebs suddenly become cool in the sense that should I have to buy them even if they didn’t suit my taste coz I’ll be considered “uncool” if I don’t? Don’t you think that perhaps these designers and celebs may be sipping $20,000 champagne in the back seats of their custom made limousines staring out onto the ordinary folk walking on the pavements thinking ‘these idiots will buy ANYTHING that has my name on it. It doesn’t have to be attractive, just get my label on it! I might as well design a jacket from dog fur and they will still buy it!!” They’ve got the whole world wrapped around their little fingers in the name of fashion and we blindly ape every trend that emerges from the west.

In the end, who loses out? We foolish Africans and Kenyans who have lost our identity until we have to get a commission to design a national dress for us (and they still bring us the maasai kikois which have long been considered the national dress in the first place), or the major international fashion houses which couldn’t give two shits about us but still mint hundreds of millions of dollars from us annually?


I’ve made a very interesting observation about the Kenyan youth, especially those fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to study out of the country. Many young people under age 24 seem to have absolutely no interest in what’s going on in Kenya. Many don’t bother to read the papers online. Yesterday, due to lack of time to read the entire online editions, I printed out sections of the Standard and the Nation, in particular articles about the Armenians saga to read over lunch. I ran into some fellow Kenyan students who were absolutely clueless that such events had occurred and they were so surprised to see the printouts! Mention the raid on the media earlier this year, the launch of Narc-Kenya, Kibaki and his family domez, and all I got was blank stares as if I was speaking in somali or something.

This indifference also extends to politics. Severally I’ve tried making conversation with guys about the political situation back home and who they’re likely to vote for come next year’s general elections. No one seemed to be least bit bothered! Guys would much rather gossip, discuss soccer and entertainment, get boozed and get laid. Is that all we live for? Many young Kenyans don’t bother to register as voters and even if they do, getting their lazy asses down to the polling stations is another thing altogether!

Obviously I blame the clowns who are currently in power for the lack of interest in politics among the youth coz with all that nonsense they spew out their mouths on a daily basis. Maybe we feel totally helpless or we might think that Kenya is beyond help so we’d much rather not think about it. Or maybe we feel that it’s not our place to speak out against these seasoned politicians.

An idea struck me although I don’t know how feasible it would be or if it’s even possible. I’m not a political genius so work with me here. It’s mostly based on assumption.

The youth make up about 60% of registered voters, right? That makes us the outright majority of voters, but I highly doubt that there is any political party in Kenya that actually reaches out to the youth. I’m talking about having the youth’s interests at heart. Kenyan politics is all about name calling and mud slinging, and in the process no one bothers to address issues (or at least make empty promises in their manifestos) to address issues faced by the youth.

We face various issues that include HIV/AIDS, sexual (as well as other forms of) abuse, inadequate educational facilities, lack of employment opportunities for university graduates, lack of adequate opportunities to develop individual talents among others.

Anyway, the idea is, would it be possible/feasible to start a political party that solely caters for the interests of the youth? I’m not necessarily talking about going for the top seats, but let’s assume that the party could reach out to the youth in all corners of the country and educate them about their rights and the importance of having a party that’s formed for the youth and by the youth, encourage them to register as voters and to actually go to the polling stations on election day and vote. Throw in a few inspirational young leaders and through aggressive campaigning somehow manage to get something like 40% of the youth registered to vote, to become party members.

Such a move will make the more established political parties wake up and realize that the youth are a very important portion of the electorate that has long been ignored and that we’re tired of being taken for granted. They will definitely start taking the youth more seriously, and they’ll come up with agendas, platforms, policies or whatever fancy names they give to their plans of action. This youth party would then form an alliance to swing the youth vote in favour of whichever party that has the most solid plan to address issues faced by the youth. Future support for the party will be based on how well they tackled these issues.

Moi used to tell the youth “you are the leaders of tomorrow…” that was years ago but what we see today is a bunch of senile septuagenarians in power and driving Kenya to the ground. This “tomorrow” will not just pop out of a hole and announce “I’m here!!” Tomorrow will become today only when the youth decide to get more involved in politics and in matters that affect their own lives, when young Kenyan graduates out there decide to come back home and share their wealth of knowledge and help in building the country instead of throwing stones from afar.

So what do you think?

Lately I’ve noticed a growing trend, that of guy bashing. It seems as if for chics, bashing men is the coolest thing to do at the moment. It’s everywhere! In blogosphere, magazines, movies, random chiles all over the place uttering comments such as “all men are dogs! Men are the cause of all problems! We don’t need men in our lives! There are no good men left.” Why lie I’ve been getting increasingly irritated by the day and I just had to comment about it. Probably this job could have been done better by the likes of Udi and Oyunga Pala, but sorry I’m not going to wait that long for them to do it, I’m a speak my peace right here right now.

Whereas I acknowledge the fact that men are not perfect creatures, I doubt that it’s fair for women to judge all men based on experiences that they’ve had with those elements who give the rest of us such a bad name. Women should also take the blame for the way in which modern men behave. Why? Coz simply, women don’t know what they want, and yet they expect men to know what they (the women) want! How now?

I recently stumbled upon Supaflyshi’s post “ Do you know where your balls are?” and I have beef with part of what she wrote. (nothing personal) She says:

…there are no mandingo men out there. Yaani the kind of man that’s just that…a man. The kind of man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to get it or go ask for it. The kind of man who will grab your ass, push you against the wall and fuck your brains out with your panties to the side and than ask for ugali and mbuzi after that. It’s not that he does not have a softer side, he does, but is only to be seen when necessary…

Nothing personal girl, but what the f***? Are you out of your goddamn mind? I highly doubt that any sane woman would be anywhere near impressed if she ever experienced anything like this! In fact, you’d be seriously traumatized and you’d probably call FIDA shortly after calling the cops on his ass! You fail to realize that a man will treat you exactly how you allow him to. This kind of man will take advantage of you later on, he’ll control you and be possessive and he’ll beat the shit out of you! I’m tempted to say that sometimes I think some women deliberately get themselves into such situations just so they can have the scars to show, and can therefore be justified in calling all men beasts, but I won’t say it!

When women talk of all men being dogs, it’s like putting every single male human being in the same category, whether he’s a monk, prince charming or a rapist, and that’s just not fair! Don’t you dare use the argument that given the opportunity, all men will stray, including the monk. (Unless you mean that he cheats on his left hand with the right one!) If anything, nowadays chics are worse dogs (better playas) than men! Just coz you scraped through the bottom of the barrel and scooped up all the wrong elements doesn’t mean all men are the same or that they’re not good enough for you.

Some say that when it comes to dealing with a new guy, it’s better to expect the worst coz it cushions you from getting hurt, rather than to expect good which in the end turns out not to be. But I say that it’s not fair to use past experiences as a defence mechanism for preparing yourselves for future experiences with ALL men who may come into your lives. Coz you might run into a genuinely good guy, but at the back of your mind, you remember that your two or three past boyfriends dogged on you and therefore this one is likely to do the same so you don’t give him a chance. There goes a perfect opportunity to get you a good man.

We live in a very superficial world. I think that movies, Mexican soaps and all those glossy magazines have really disoriented women’s thinking. What is the definition of a real man? Really. The concept of a real man keeps changing by the day according to current trends. Because of this and changing expectations of women, men adapt themselves to suit those expectations but it ends up being a lose/lose situation for us. When the metrosexual trend came in, guys realized that the only way to land some chics would be to add an element of metrosexual-ness to themselves, not the full waxing of legs and getting pedicures like David Beckham, I’m talking about investing a little more in things that a man normally wouldn’t do like buying pink shirts (my beef with pink shirts is a story for another day) expensive colognes and silly creams, switching from beer to exotic cocktails with such fancy names which no African can comfortably pronounce, in addition to “being in touch with our feminine sides” i.e. being sensitive and emotional, engaging in PDA (public display of affection) When this happens, other chics say that men ain’t got no balls. When men don’t do the above and behave in the way we were taught that real men should behave i.e. don’t shave below the neck (although a little trim down south may be allowed) reserve displays of affection for more private moments, fancy cocktails with umbrellas and orange peels are for the ladies so stick to beer and spirits, then chics say we’re outdated and boring. So what do you want us to do? Make up your minds, decide what you want and send us the memo and we’ll get with the programme!

Movies impart certain fairytales of a prince charming who doesn’t exist! No one will come sweeping you off your feet in this world of today. It’s the truth. Those fairytale romances ended a long time ago. But if you treat yourself like a queen, then you will definitely meet a man who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. If you have no respect for yourself, you sleep around or you don’t even bother to spruce yourself up on occasion, then how do you expect any man to treat you any differently? If you can’t find happiness within yourself, then how do you expect someone else to come along and make you happy?

Speaking of magazines and TV, why is it that certain double standards are applied on men? Why are celebs allowed to act in a certain way that we mere mortals would not be allowed to? A few weeks ago, for lack of anything better to watch on South African television, I switched to Oprah, and her guest was Matthew McConaughey who was voted the sexiest man alive by some magazine. Sawa, good for the brother. The dude tells Oprah that he’s never used roll on/deodorant/colognes/aftershave since he was a teenager. When asked why, he explains that he loves being natural, and that his mother told him he smells so good that he doesn’t need deo. Of course your mother would never tell you that your body odour stinks!! Anyway, the audience (which of course is 100% female) oooooing and aaaaahing. But how many of these or other women would ever let their man go natural for a day without kunjaing their noses? Ama coz this dude’s the sexiest guy in the world his body odour’s supposed to smell like heaven?

Chics seem to have a thing for “bad boys” coz of the air of unpredictability that they have. Or they believe that they can be the one to change the dude. But how often do chics succeed in changing a bad boy into an angel? It’s never happened! Ever! Don’t be mistaken, guys change, but only when they themselves decide to change or when they meet the one woman who makes them want to stop their bad habits. Not coz the chic changed them! A few pals of mine have had the misfortune (if I can call it that) falling for these bad boy types. I’m talking about some ruffian brutes that appear to have absolutely no clue whatsoever how to treat a lady. I tried to discourage them but they hooked up with the guys regardless. After a month of being cheated on, beaten and being mistreated generally, they came running back to me for help. My question always is: Woman, what the hell did you expect?? If you consciously get yourself into such a predicament while ignoring the obvious signs, then you have only yourself to blame for the aftermath! When sh*t hits the fan, these chics turn around and say that all men are animals/dogs/brutes etc. How now? You’ve made your bed, now either put up or shut up! If and when you decide to move on, remember that it was your mistake, not the brute that beat your ass up! He was just being himself!!

About men being the cause of all problems, this is where feminism comes in. Feminism originally was about women’s rights and empowerment, equality, affirmative action, Beijing conference, maendeleo ya wanawake and all that stuff. Good! I support that 100%!! I agree that women should be treated as equal to men in every sphere of life. But when some chics take this to another level, that of extreme feminism/chauvinism/ reverse misogyny, all this sh*t about men being the cause of all problems, independent woman stuff that women don’t need men in their lives etc, now that in my opinion is absolute bollocks. Why would a chic say that she doesn’t need a man in her life but she wants to get one with desirable genetic qualities to father her children? Yes it’s the woman’s right to decide whether she wants the father to be part of the kid’s life but I’m so against this coz why would you want to deny your child the God given right to have both parents when you probably had both? What happens when the kid grows up messed up, or begins to ask questions? What will you tell the kid? I’m not trying to say that all kids who grow up in single parent families are messed up, but there are times in the child’s life that he/she will need a father!

Today, chics also set unreasonably high standards and expectations before they can give guys a second glance. Ati the dude should be independent (i.e. not live under his parent’s roof) he should have a high profile job and be financially secure, be of high social standing, he should have his own car (preferably not an entry level Japanese model) and a tastefully furnished apartment, he should dress in the latest testosterone-deprived fashions from Paris, Milan and New York (PINK SHIRTS!!). Someone please explain to me how this makes him Mr Right. Obviously it would be good for a dude to come fully loaded with the above, but why some chics would be so materialistic as to dismiss guys who are still working their way up, shamelessly ignoring their latent potential is beyond me.

I understand the fact that guys are not perfect, but chics ain’t perfect either. Y’all need to lower your standards to acceptable levels and quit stereotyping about all men being dogs etc. What I can tell you is that y’all should stop looking in all the wrong places coz Mr Right is probably right under your nose but you’re just too blind to see it. The good guys left are the kind of guy you’d never give a second glance coz he may not look like Morris Chestnut or Boris Kodjoe, doesn’t drive a flashy car, doesn’t dress fancy or doesn’t have tons of cash to spoil you with expensive gifts. But he is a good, honest, hardworking man with a good heart and given the chance he’ll treat you like a queen.

A few cosmetic changes have taken place here, the old name Midnight Frisco has been replaced by Archer. I think it was a silly name for a blog in the first place. Exams are in progress, normal service will resume shortly.

RE: 2006 World Cup List of Rules

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspapers so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor…it won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep a few gallons of juices in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a thorough beating, a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying ONE game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend quality time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times!

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Premier League, the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc.

13. Rules are meant to be kept, not broken. This applies to these rules.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Best Regards,
Men of the World

(Article was shamelessly jacked from an e-mail forward!)