The big day is here! Finally! The UEFA Champions League final 2006! And who would have guessed that Arsenal aka the Gooners of all people would find themselves here? It all just sounds like a bad dream, doesn’t it? The way these useless gooner fans (who only wear their jerseys the day after a big game, and never during the game itself! Shameless cowards!) have been chest thumping ati “we’ll twanga Barcelona”….twanga WHO?! Barca? Y’all insane or what?

Let’s be realistic here. My boys Chelsea FC went all out (last season that is) with undoubtedly the best defence in Europe and the best keeper in Petr Cech. But even that was not enough to prevent the toothy-grinned Ronaldinho from giving instant salsa lessons to kina Gallas and Terry before thoroughly embarrassing Petr Cech with that shot from the edge of the penalty area!

However much Chelsea fans (true fans and opportunists alike) may have been on cloud 9 the last 2 seasons, we (with the exception of Jose Mourinho) do know a good thrashing when we receive one! And Barca dispatches such treatment with reckless abandon!

So what makes the gooners believe that they have the depth and quality that it takes to beat Barcelona tonight? What with all the toiz who can’t receive a decent tackle without running crying to baba Wenger? What makes their defence any better than the benchmark (Chelsea FC)? What makes Lehmann any better than Petr Cech? NOTHING!!

Tonight I predict a thorough thrashing at the hands of Ronaldinho, Eto’o, Deco et al followed by a trophyless and Henry-less entrance into Ashburton Grove next season. With the potential loss of Theuri Henry, Pires and Ashley (haha! Ashley!) Cole, I wonder who they’ll have for a captain! Sol Campbell? Senderos perhaps?

But Arsenal are known to win major finals (read F.A Cup) by penalties so in the unlikely event that they somehow manage to hold back the Barca onslaught and head into penalties, woi njisas! It’s over!