Randomness

About a month and a half ago, four bloggers linked up for a night out. The suspects include 31337, Modo, CB and Archer. CB did a very detailed write up of the night. Yes I did fall asleep at Galileo but that’s coz the seats in the VIP lounge were oh so comfy! (what’s with Kenyans and those three letters V.I.P?) Not the leather seats, but the large, round woven ones with a huge cushion? I’ve got to get me a couple of those for my digz. We tried to Kimunya privatize one through the window but it couldn’t fit. Ah well, legit it will be then.

 

CB tried to Kimunya privatize my pinky, later she wanted to dish me up when I was asleep, Modo was on handbag duty (LOL!!) and kept running to and fro checking if drinks were flowing, while 31337…well, he was just being himself causing a tsunami under his feet when he does that helicopter ya mguu dance. It was a great night!

 

 

Midfield Engine leaves the Bridge

claude makelele

 

 

 

I was sad to see Chelsea’s 35 year old veteran midfielder and unsung hero Claude Makelele leave the club on a free transfer and join Paris St. Germain. I’d hoped that Big Phil Scolari would be able to squeeze at least one more season out of him before letting him retire after a testimonial match.

 

Makelele unveiled by PSG

 

Makelele alias Maka was my second favourite player in the squad after Frank Lampard. There’s so much to say about arguably the best holding midfielder in recent history (he even had that specific role named after him) but you can read more about him here.

 

 

Along with Makelele, Chelsea have also gotten rid of a few players who have been deemed surplus to requirements i.e. Steve Sidwell (why the hell was he signed in the first place?) Khalid Boulahrouz and Hernan Crespo (released from contract) A few others might be on their way out i.e. Shaun Wright-Philips (to Portsmouth – please go!), Tal Ben Haim (to wherever!) and Frank Lampard (to Inter)– although I have to admit that Lamps is not thinking straight. If a former world and European Player of the Year Ronaldinho was offered a 3 year contract by AC  Milan and he’s 28, just which idiot would sign a 30 year old player on a 5 year, 150,000 pound per week deal? Kuwa serious! 

 

And of course there’s that wanker Didier Drogba. I hate this idiot. Really, I do. He may be the best of our useless strikers, but he ought to go. After severally announcing his intention to leave Stamford Bridge over the last two seasons, he hoped that some top European team (AC Milan) would come calling (but they didn’t, shock on your ass!) he said he’d take ten days to decide whether he’d stay or leave. Ten days came and went, and there was still no word. If you’re going, please go. Coz I’m tired of his nonsense and if I were Scolari, I’d allocate him to ground staff where hopefully he’d get his gelled hair tangled up in the lawnmower blades and eventually behead himself. Wishful thinking, wishful thinking.

 

Scolari ought to get rid of ALL the strikers with the exception of super-sub Salomon Kalou. Andriy Shevchenko, Claudio Pizarro and Nicolas Anelka are the biggest bunch of losers in world football and couldn’t even score 15 goals between them all season. Scolari ought to hijack David Villa from Valencia as well as Robinho from Real Madrid. Word has it that Samuel Eto’o is unsettled at Barca and is desperate for a move. If we sign these players, only then do I see Chelsea being capable of fighting for major honours this season. Our only competition is from Man United, and if they sign Berbatov from Tottenham Hotspur, we may as well let them keep the Premiership and the Champions League trophies for another season.

 

This season I’d like to see one or two young players from the youth team make it into the first team. Already there’s 19 year old Argentine (with Italian papers) striker Franco di Santo who seems ready to give the first team strikers a run for their money after his impressive debut for the first team during the current pre-season matches in China.

 

 

Raila Odinga’s goatee

 

Has anyone else noticed that Agwambo’s goatee has been shrinking over the years? Now it’s disappeared completely!!

 

 

Insult of the week

 

I mentioned before that Ms. Dildo is a bit on the big side. OK who am I kidding, she’s very much on the big side. One of the boys from upstairs came to my digz one day and found her there, and that started a lot of underhand jokes whenever I went upstairs to chill with them. But this one took the cake.

 

I’m sure that shagging her must be like driving an Actros bila power steering!

 

OUCH!!

 

(For those of you who don’t know what an Actros is, eh…it’s a Prime Mover!)

 

The second one added

 

Enyewe Archer vile unapenda ma Actros, unafaa kuitwa Bayusuf!

 

DOUBLE OUCH!!!

 

(If you didn’t get that one, you cannot be helped)

 

 

FOKOJEMBE OF THE WEEK!!

 

Chirau Ali Mwakwere

 

So, in between soliciting for chips on Koinange Street at dubious hours of the night, being annointed a Mijikenda elder and chanting his party slogan “Kamata kamata zipapa” (or something like that), does our “honourable” Minister for Transport, Chirau Ali Mwakwere, find any time to get any of his ministerial duties done?? Surely, even after COTU boss Francis Atwoli publicly asked Baba Jimmy to replace him with someone more efficient (super Minister John Michuki) during the Labour Day celebrations (much to the crowd’s pleasure) shouldn’t Mwakwere be trying hard to show that he’s not as lazy as we all know think he is? The transport system is in shambles and there’s been no sign of action from him. This man is the epitome of gross incompetence.

 

 

MWAKWERE WACHA UZEMBE….FANYA KAZI BWANA!!

 

Sidebar: did you know that Mwakwere has a blog? Seriously, he does!

 

What’s on my Playlist?

 

Crush on you – Hidden Beach Records