What is it with Kenyan guys? I think we are really stuck up and up-tight (not in the literal sense) I think we are really homophobic. Yes, we are. The slightest hint of doing or suggesting anything to a Kenyan jamaa which may be perceived as making a pass at him is almost guaranteed to earn you a good right hook right in your eye, spectacles notwithstanding.
Why is it that there are some things that we can’t say to a fellow jamaa coz we’d be perceived to be gay? The average Kenyan guy would rarely compliment another guy, and if he had to, it’s have to be very, very general. Supposing you came across a dude, say a pal, wearing a very nice polo neck sweater, how would you compliment him?
My guy, si that sweater is timam? It really brings out your physique vizuri
The response would either be “er…thanks. Moving swiftly along…” accompanied by slow steps in any direction away from you. Or you’d receive that right hook.
Therefore, we guys take the easy way out and simply say
Nice sweater, Anto
Anto: Thanks.
I got a little flat just near my uni, thus saving me about 4 to 5 hours on the road and over 300 bob in cab and matatu fare daily. But that’s beside the point. So, most times when the weather allows, I simply jump into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and get going. After all, these legs from the wonderful western Kenya gene pool should be shared with all and sundry. One day, the weather wasn’t so convenient, so I wore jeans, Tims and a sweat-shirt. After class, I pitied by the local, and the first thing I heard from a male pal was:
Arch, it’s such a pleasure to see you fully clothed for once!
Almost everyone in the pub turned in our direction, those ones of “Eeeeeeeiiiiiiiish!!!! Alaaaaaaa?”
Kwani where did you see Archer not fully clothed?
So we had to go into a long explanation about the whole incident lest they concluded that we play for Arsenal otherwise.
Why is it that there are topics that you can’t bring up with other guys?
The other day at the supermarket, I was feeling kidogo adventurous, and at the toilet soap aisle, I picked about 6 or 7 bars of Fa toilet soap, all in different colours and er…flavours. Or fragrances. Whatever.
A few days later after using up the first two bars, I showered using the new Fa yogurt flavour (it’s cream, yellow or some colour lime that. Consult 3TOC) and I have to say that that was one of the best shower experiences I’ve had in a very long time. That ish smells so so good! Not nearly as good as the Ra.do.x aromatherapeutic shower gel, but it was good enough for a 29 bob soap. I emerged from the shower almost 30 minutes later, having sung the whole way through. Bliss.
Then I went upstairs to chill with the boys. So Archer and his intelligence decided to share the experience, only to be met by curiously raised eyebrows, comme ça
http://pages.matmice.com/home/the_rock_pictures/
Pal 1: Arch, that’s not stuff you should tell us, save that for your mamaa!!
Pal 2: Are you sure you weren’t lathering yourself up in other ways?
I did the same thing at the local the next day just to gauge the reaction of a few more of my male pals. Needless to say, they were identical.
There are so many other topics that you’d hardly ever find two guys discussing, all for the sake of maintaining a macho/tough guy image. Relationships for example. Would you tell your boy at the pub
Mazee I’m really in love with Jane, aki she makes me feel some joy in ways I’ve never felt before
No. Normally it’d be
I’m really feeling Jane, she’s a timam mamaa
End of story.
I’ve been hit on a number of times by gay men (both here in Nairobi and in South Africa, but that’s a story for another day) and while it’s very strange and immensely irritating the first couple of times, one actually gets used to it and can afford a smile the next time and say
Look here man, I’m straight. Vagina rules!!!
In such a case where your masculinity has been threatened for real, then I bet you’re allowed to react in whichever way necessary. But if you’re confident about your sexuality, then what’s there to worry about? Why would a Kenyan man be so quick to accuse you of being “guilty by association” just coz you have a couple of gay friends?
Come on guys, LOOSEN UP!!! Dare to be different today! Compliment another guy! In fact, let’s start right here! Jamaas, comment section is open. Loose the stuck-up-ness and compliment someone. In fact, let’s start with Xs, seeing that one Frank in Accra, Ghana has already opened the path.
Xs, hiyo shave ulipata juzi…..that goatee!!! I wouldn’t let you near any of my sisters if I had any!”
Photo of the Day
What’s on my Playlist?
Bob Sinclar feat. Fireball – What I want


June 25, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I was really going to compement your deep hazel (?) senstive eyes
until I saw your photo of the day then i retracted (well until he decides to move to Real then I can join you in the Christina hating brigade)
Topics involving gays, grooming and wanking are total NO NO topics for Kenyan men we are more comfortable discussing puking and farting! Thats how cultured we are (tongue in cheek of course!)
June 25, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’m trying out this new Black theme, so please bear with it until I get bored and switch back to the old one.
June 25, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I have always wondered why its so hard for a jamaa to complement another guy. If i see a well dressed chic, despite the fact that its my first time to see her, i will complement her.
You guyz are just too macho for life!
The other day a friend of mine (a guy) at least made a complement on Redsan. That guy has developed some sexy biceps oh la la!
I wonder if he met redsan he would tell him the same thing?
June 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Your back and black. its a bit hard on the eye.
My guy pal has really nice legs, so when donning some shorts, another dude compliments him and he looks all flustered and embarrassed and mumbles a thanks… On asking am told guys never compliment each other like that ever! until i meet another set of dudes who openly complimented each other on their manicures
and go on and on about their good shoes and all that chick stuff (they are soo straight) and now its weird. I think there should be a balance. not too much or too little, i guess it depends on the individual.
June 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm
kirima, unyc, you are so right. i shall be back with a proper comment shortly. brb
June 25, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Unyc- you have a very valid point. How come girls have no difficulty complimenting other girls and no eye brows are raised. and guys can not?
I guess for the same reason girls can share a bed and no eye brows are raised and guys can not.
I think I may know why guys do not talk about relationships the way girls do. Because where girls use 700 words, a guy would use at most six words to express the same thing.
June 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm
***CLEARING THROAT!
1. Dude, you spend 30 minutes in the shower with a new soap ‘brand’ and u tell me about it…… well forgive me but i just sploooooooooooosh huko gutter like nonsense. Yes it aint only hair & HEAD that got lathered – pun intended.
2. I get compliments, i can handle them as long as you are not saying them with ulterior motives i.e you dont say them in a suggestive way or in a manner suggesting u like to have knowledge of me…. the carnal kind..
3. Hmmmm you like my goateee?? Hehehehehe Thanks. I can introduce you 2 my barber….LOL
4. Just so that you know, i have gay friends – one is your neighbour. he’s still hiding in the closet
5. That Frank story was fiction – well… some of it…
6. Ronaldo is what???? Is he sure? For real? Ladies adore him…LOL
7. Am done.
June 25, 2008 at 7:44 pm
BTW, Black doesn’t look good on you…..
June 25, 2008 at 8:06 pm
wow at last a frank str8t person writing on gay issues.keep it up man.
at least u have no prejudice agaisnt gay men.gay men dont bite.
cheers
kenyagayouth.blogspot.com
June 25, 2008 at 9:05 pm
unless you increase this kafont, loose the black!
That Fa youghurt thingy I feel you! its an experience!
I dont know why guys freak out about being complimented by other guys whats the fear of gay people?
I have always suspected Ronaldo! He does run like a girl
June 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm
There is about a million things wrong with this post,
and that is not even touching on the fact that you used the Arse word. We are not amused.
Do I remember being ‘chastised’ for complimenting you on that cute earring?
Was it a compliment or a complement?
Nuff sed – Tell me though; Germany or Spain?
June 25, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I go with Guess. Being gay is unnatural, I know all about the prostate gland stuff, but, wooi, I am lacking words. I will watch this discussion from the periphery. Complimenting a fellow guy is not bad, lakini homosexuality…I will still never support that notion,no matter how ancient and uncivilised I will be thought of.
June 25, 2008 at 10:24 pm
xs has a goatee?
arch, you know i do not raise eyebrows at anything, i go for a; “thanks, you really think so? you are too kind!”
…having a couple of gay friends… mishale, unamtetea nani?
June 26, 2008 at 6:16 am
what XS has a goat? kwani he has given up banking and settled for farming?
June 26, 2008 at 6:28 am
archer, sweetie, no offense, but this post is soooooooo gay! i am not complaining, it’s just that it’s gay. really. if i didn’t know you i’d be totally raising the eyebrow. and if it’s any consolation, i think the rock is gay too. he’s way too immaculate not to be. how can a straight guy be macho and clean-cut at the same time? CAMOUFLAGE!!
i’m not a homophobe, and i don’t bash gays, or tolerate ANY kind of orientational discrimation. but i don’t think it’s natural. i can have gay friends, but they’d have to be thick-skinned coz i’m pretty opinionated – when i’m talking.
on the guys complementing guys…gay gay gay. manicures and pedicures? buy a nailcutter and comb your hair dude! but then again, i get hit on by women – and no, i do not enjoy it – but i do openly drool over them, so i know a few people who doubt my orientation as well. ergo i am hardly objective…
but still, it’s lovely that you enjoy half-hour showers with yoghurt flavoured soap, but, eh, seriously, i’m with your boys on this, keep it in the bafu. we don’t go about expressing the joy of dunking – well, bomseh does, but that’s something else again. siyo mbaya, but you don’t have to say EVERYTHING out loud…
[gosh is this a comment or a post?]
ronaldo is a girl? explains why he’s so pretty. but then i like pretty boys. and what’s that crack about arsenal…!!! again, explains why they’re so pretty, and again…
[i am straight, i am straight, i am straight, i am...]
oh, one more thing. you see the way you were saying chick makes you feel joy in ways blah blah, don’t tell that to your boys, tell it to HER. she’ll love hearing it. and if she’s dating you already, then she’ll be positive you’r not gay.
June 26, 2008 at 6:45 am
Yeah, Fa Yoghurt is the best, but for some reason I haven’t been able to get my size at Uchumi Capital C for the last one month so I’m stuck with the blue ocean fresh one.
I’m not sure where I stand on the whole gay issue (the Christian in me abhors it, but the open minded me is like well…), but I always had an issue with guys not complimenting each other.
Why is it so hard for a dude to even admit that another guy is handsome, or stylish, or has a really nice pair of shoes?
All in all I think guys esp African are ‘customised’ to veil their feelings. Even in a relationship, it’s hard to find a guy who will walk up to you and he’s like ‘I feel you’ if thats what he really feels. This customisation is what makes them uncomfortable when another guy goes ‘dude your shoulders look really good in that sweater’
Ok enough blabbering for a guest!
June 26, 2008 at 8:27 am
“Are you sure you weren’t lathering yourself up in other ways?”…. That had my eye
Well, that aside, I have been hit on like twicw by gay guys… They both had one comment “Cute Lips!!!” but one in my certain post went too far…
I can contain that from a chic, I would offer a complementary kiss even.
Me thinks it depends on the kind of comment, if the comment is about my clothes, my shoes, and stuff ard me, then am cool, but if its about my body… am with Bomseh. Lemmie be ancient… It is the way we have been “Cultured”…
June 26, 2008 at 11:32 am
Alaa!!! CB, yo overtaking Archerz post! hehehehe…. anywhoo… me differs with u Archer, just abit anyway. it would be very weird if i bumped into dudes vybing abt mamaz e way we do abt dudes…you know, chambuaring our feelings and all tht ish! eiuw! but on the other hand, kiasi compliments wouldnt hurt just like Bomseh has said.
June 26, 2008 at 11:52 am
This is the 2nd post I read today on KBW regarding the lack of appreciation of others by the males of the species-OK roughly because the other one did not mention anything about homophobia.
Ati you described your 30 min shower in detail, even I do not get that and I’m not male…LOL.
Guys get all hot and bothered when hit on by one of their own now am sure you know how we feel yet it happens everyday and we survive without undergoing therapy.
June 26, 2008 at 11:53 am
It is dark in here..Let me get my specs..will be right back
June 26, 2008 at 12:15 pm
lol on ronaldo..no such thing!just look at the picture..the right arm!
good one!
June 26, 2008 at 4:24 pm
OMG WTF, this is so, like, totally GHEY.
F*ck, I have to run for my manicure session. Toodles!
June 26, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I think African men are hard-coded or wired not to appreciate their sexuality. A straight man will not even appreciate being told he is sexy by a girl! I hang out with str8 men( some know am gay) and I am amused on how uneasy they get when complimented.
That Fa soap is divine…he he..I put that there to flame.
On Christiano…Archer, do you recall the metrosexual post you did a couple of years ago and how I commented he must be gay? Well…it proves my gaydar was not wrong..dude is the T in LGBT!
Great post
By the way, have you noticed how the sexuality has become common? Sit down with any bunch of people of any sex for an hour and the topic is more than likely to come up.
June 26, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Boss, compliments from jamaas? Just sema that shirt is timam. Not ati a jamaa looks timam with that shirt. I dont want to know a guy was checking me out and thought i looked nice. LOL. Nothing against gays though. Like I have always stated. more gays, more women for the straight man
June 27, 2008 at 7:23 am
CB,everyone,irrespective of age enjoys dunking. That is why it is called relieving oneself,coz it is relief. Explains why constipation is an unhappy affair.
June 27, 2008 at 10:21 am
I was once stopped by a man in the streets of Durban and he was like ” Man, i like your phone” We ended up exchanging numbers kumbe the guy was planning to hit on me..What happened is a story of another day…
Even if a Kenyan guy compliments me down south, am always like@ Hebu chunga kijana huku ni SA!
June 27, 2008 at 10:23 am
Your blog looks super sexy Archer!
June 27, 2008 at 11:48 am
Hahaha that line ati playing for Arsenal..you killed me
ANyway guess am just a kawa homophobic kenyan guy..some things i still wld neva vyb ovyo ovyo. Its like shouting u know the difference btween yellow and salmon..thats sooo…..Arsenalish heheh
Anyway kila mtu na utamu wake so from today no discrimination..wateva makes u happy
Arch think we need to see you..kwani wewe ni mchamaa handsam aje that even guys hit on u..weka pic on blog we decide
June 27, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Better consenting gays than child molesting parasites
like the big white guy in the news I’m so boycotting his coffee until he is locked up
June 27, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I am with CB and Udi on this one…yes compliment my jersey or tie or whatever but…
‘what are you doing to your hair its so fluffy (or whatever hair becomes when you do something to it)
that is borderline gay. And manicures too….just like BC said kata kucha and move on.
and I have been accused of being homophobic which I believe am not, its just that its unnatural to compliment another dude and that should not be labeled as being homophobic. it just what it is, unnatural.
June 30, 2008 at 7:18 am
Love the Yellow Fa yoghurt. Great post.
Good to see guess here!
June 30, 2008 at 8:55 am
On Saturday , I broke my little finger when I Knocked down this Drunk Boer who touched me suggestively in a pub..Eish the loser touched my little bum
July 1, 2008 at 7:16 am
Mishale seems someones gaydar came across you and liked. U have admirers hahahahahah!
Thought about it for a while and think ama be homophobic for life….some things just dont go down well with me
July 1, 2008 at 1:54 pm
That FA soap is off the chains. There is also a cocoa butter or something used it once I almost chewed the soap!
Why are people surprised about the 30 minutes in shower! I do at least 20 especially with a gel.
I had a nasty experience with a dude sometime back and I could easily give u a black eye and the doc some stitches. Thats a story 4 some other day.
That Ronaldo story, I googled and couldn’t find it!
July 1, 2008 at 2:35 pm
i would love to witness two jamaaz complimenting each other.kwani what is wrong with a guy telling another one he looks tamu n gives him moto to try look good too? gays rock!!!
on cristiano, as long as he’s thinking of madrid, he’s name is christina, a cross-dresser, a baby n all the rest guys can come up with.
July 2, 2008 at 4:50 am
I used to be homophobic untill i saw brokeback mountain and cried!! I mean we cant help who we love….those two cowboys made passionate love on camera…aaaaaawww
i think lesbo action is the shit tho!!!.
…not so sure about men poking each othe derriere…quite nasty!
July 2, 2008 at 7:22 am
seems to me kenyans are so hung up on the gay thing
first things first, Xs and his goatee..wonder who still keeps goaties after JK-jomo kenyatta..or was that a beard?
anyway, how do u discuss showering for 30 minutes with ur guys? anyone passing by will just think…gay
but it is ok for chicks to compliment fellow chicks, from their clothes, to their hair to their figure…
i think kenyan jamaas who want to be given freedom of speech (like you!) are getting double standards..
July 2, 2008 at 7:29 am
@Kd
i must say i loved brokeback mountain too…i actually cried
July 4, 2008 at 8:30 am
So true about Kenyan homophobia.
Addicted to your blog…. not sure abot the new black though!
July 7, 2008 at 6:10 am
i wonder how an O trimmed goatie looks like? hmmm…
July 7, 2008 at 6:31 am
oh, i actually bought the Fa soaps just to experiment on them..will see how it goes..maybe we can form a discussion group?
ok, a self help group. no? with me u and gish and anyone else who would like to join..
July 7, 2008 at 10:20 am
Wacha kunicopy!!!!
July 8, 2008 at 6:37 pm
kwani this Fa Yoghurt soap is how deadly? Si you guys export some to us
July 9, 2008 at 7:51 am
I stroll over to Archer’s blog and find, ala? Kwani Karucy is still blow-drying her hair… then I read the post and I’m thinking…wait a min…Arch and a shower in the same sentence? In a shower for 30 min? Arch..tell the truth here…I didn’t know you are into the metrosexual vibe nowadays Last I checked, you had hair in place I didn’t even know I had places.
Although I am not homophobic, discussing what I do in the shower (and those yoghurty sensation) is just plain weird. so what do you do when the Fa is over and you are on the Omo like whoa..
“Dude, that Omo dries my skin out. I feel like plank of wood’
“I feel you dude.Try some olive oil..it makes it soft and supple”
“Let me feel….”
Dude, brrrrrrr……
July 9, 2008 at 4:05 pm
LOL!!! i love the black.,….. for real!!
i think if u love that Fa yoghurt,its a free country and u should be able to say it to anyone,anywhere,anyhow!!!
July 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Just discovered your blog today! This posting was a howler!
July 10, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Mad writing skills you’ve got.Guys will compliment each other on stufff other than how they look,personally I’d love it to stay that way.Talking about Fa Yoghurt soap as muchas I like it is just odd!!!Period
July 14, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Hey Archer,
Love the Black….(ulini copy lakini ni sawa).
Ok, Kenyan men are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo homophobic it’s amazing (i think it’s something about black men in general). The perception most of them have is if you are black and gay, you are less of a man and more of a woman.
And people who protest too much about gays are suspect in my book.
Some guy i know (though he will never admit it) do fantasize about being with their homeboy, but will never say it. He emulates this other guy so much. Manner of dressing, how they cut their hair or trim their beard, always defending their boy. I did ask him about it and he gives me that BS of, we went to school together and we grew up in teh same mtaa. One time i told one of their pals, “LO needs to stop ridding PK’s dick man.” And his pal laughed and was like, “Even you, you have noticed?”
I would not be surprised if PK asked him to suck his nutz (on more than one occasion) while drinking in the car. (coz there was a time, we went for a party and they were in the moti for Hours drinking and listening to music)
July 18, 2008 at 7:41 am
I have cried…and howled in here I might soon be kicked out!!!!!!! This post id freaking hilarious..
Reminds me off the time we were sitting chilling in my pal’s house..then one guy Lee starts complementing my other pal Steve…who was so embarassed he literally inched his way out of the room…that was okie..the wierd bit came when Lee started talking about his gym trainer..ati the man has a nice physique (okie, not bad)..then started on his lips…the uproar was amazing..tehehe
Why is it so hard to give and receive compliments about clothes, shoes…etc??? Aki men..too funny
But err if I caught a bunch of men discussing sabuni I would also wonder what was up..
Times when I’m so happy to be female!
July 22, 2008 at 12:25 pm
the fa soap was deadly, after all..
@ a son of his mother..
Although I am not homophobic, discussing what I do in the shower (and those yoghurty sensation) is just plain weird. so what do you do when the Fa is over and you are on the Omo like whoa..
“Dude, that Omo dries my skin out. I feel like plank of wood’
“I feel you dude.Try some olive oil..it makes it soft and supple”
“Let me feel….”
Dude, brrrrrrr……
wacha ku-hate
July 23, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Karibu tena arch.male compliments si mbaya as long as they remain that.escalating mamboz to other levels ndio huleta shida.good grooming hamna shida but when it gets to metrosexual n stuff,hapo iko tafash.
As for Fa,i may engage 1 bar and c whether 30min is practical for showering with it.i normally do 15min in total.
I dont mind homos but i abhor the act in totality haswa when bragged about.i take it as a condition and not a norm.yep…
July 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm
September 15, 2008 at 12:25 pm
You challenged me to tell what happened.
greamhouze.wordpress.com
there is a post on why am homophobic