It’s a well known fact that guys love us some porn. Most guys that is, the rest prefer to deny that they do. A lot can be said about porn and how it’s degrading to women over and above objectifying them as mere toys. I’ll save my true thoughts about that coz I might get lynched for speaking my mind.

But how much porn may a dude have? A couple of magazines? A couple of DVDs/videos? A couple of Gigs on the hard drive? Granted that porn can be very addictive, there has to be a “legal amount” of porn that one guy can possess. A reasonable amount. Unlike a pal of mine in SA had 160 GB of porn contained in a whole hard drive! Seriously, there has to be a clear distinction between normalcy and perversion. But this post isn’t about that.

Guys, what would you do if your significant other discovered your “stash” of porn? If she asked you about it, what would you say? Would you be comfy watching it with her? Is there anything to be embarrassed about your “stash?”

Allow me to share with you (not a porn clip, Xs and Kip get your minds out of the gutter!!) an excerpt of an episode of Coupling (isn’t this the best comedy ever?). So, Steve accidentally leaves a porn video titled “Lesbian Spank Inferno” in his VCR, only for it to be discovered by his girlfriend Susan. In Susan’s true fashion, she chided him about it and almost made a fool of him during a dinner with the rest of the gang. But like a mouse that’s been pushed to a corner, Steve came out with guns blazing, and this is what he had to say in his defence.

(Question: how could you possibly enjoy a film like that?)

“Because it’s got naked women in it! Look, I like naked women! I’m a bloke, I’m supposed to like them, we’re born like that. We like naked women as soon as we’re pulled out of one, halfway out the birth canal we’re already enjoying the view! Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like naked women, stockings, lesbians and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because, that is what being a boy is, and if you don’t like it darling, join the film collective.

I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there, but that does not stop me (from) wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that’s what being a bloke is. When man invented fire, he didn’t say “hey, let’s cook!”, he said “Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!” As soon as (someone) invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of wahey! Naked bottoms! We’ve turned the internet into an enormous international database of…naked bottoms. So you see the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble as it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look…at your bottoms! Thank you!”

Poor Steve.

Back to the question guys, what would be your defence if your significant other came across your “stash” masquerading as “World Cup final 1998, 2002 and 2006” and questioned you about it?

Ladies, if you came across your jamaa’s stash, whether it’s just a mag or two, a DVD/tape or a whole arsenal of porn, what would you say/do? Would you watch it with him? Would you be ok with it?

 

In other news making headlines….

Last weekend I got my hands on a copy of last October’s True Love magazine. Not that I read True Love, but this was the edition that had the 24 sexiest Kenyans and I just had to read it. One of the 24 sexiest Kenyans is my new TV crush. I won’t name names since Google isn’t a very good friend of mine and this stuff always comes back to kick me in the arse (just google the name of my ex TV crush and you’ll see what I mean) But if you’ve been watching KTN prime time news over the last couple of weeks, particularly the business news, then you’ll know who I’m referring to. Those eyes, that smile, nywele inaonekana sio weave kama ya Lilian Muli, those legs, and oh…that voice……. EYE CANDY!!! While people have been debating over who’s hotter between Lilian Muli (with that fake twang sijui from where) and Peninah Karibe (still a shagzmodo according to me) here comes E.A and shoves them both into last week!

Something still bothers me though. Stackofstiffyz (where are you man?) did a post about the article last year where he described E.A. as:

“DJ CK’s newest teen &^%$#, and she sounds good and sexy on radio alright, but she looks a whole lot different, like something out of a kids array of toys. In shaggz.”

Dude, kwani where did you see her looking like rag dolly Anna? Might you care to eat your words now? I’m sure you must be biting yourself!!

What’s on my Playlist?

Pretty Young Thing – Michael Jackson