(Just popping in briefly….I’m supposed to be keeping away from blogosphere!)

I knew it was going to be a bad day today. I could tell. Right from the moment I opened my eyes, I knew. See, I’ve set my ka-radio to go on at 6:30am. So my cellphone alarm clock goes off just a minute before, then followed by the radio. I don’t know how many guys go through this, but the first song that I hear in the morning usually sticks in my mind for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, this is the first thing I heard this morning:

“I’m T Paaaaaaaaain, you know meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

The fuck? Dadii, change station. Quick!

“Let’s talk money, I’ll talk baaaaaaaaaaaaack!”

Where’s that bloody remote yawa!!! Hurry!! Before the ka punch line fikas…..

“Lemme buuuuuy you a ndweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeink!!!”

Oh drat. Now that’s going to be on my mind for the rest of the day… Alafu I finally located the remote and switched stations, only to hear

“Nobaddy wanna see us togeeeeeeeeeeeeeeder…….”

Aki leo mumeamua? Switched to third station (Capital) only to get Chris Brown 

You can be my cinderellaaaaaaaa   ella  eeeee eeeee eeeeee…”

I didn’t require further prompting to switch off the stereo. Alafu I peeped out of the window, took a look at that gloomy weather, wondering why I’m waking up alone…in such oh so morning glorious convenient weather. And I’d forgotten to put on the water heater last night.

Speaking of weather, Nairobi is FOOOREEEEZING!!!!! I thought I was lucky to have skived the South African winter coz right now I’d be visiting relas in Jo burg, where I’m told it recently snowed for the first time in twenty something years. I pity those having to survive sub zero temperatures down in Jozi. But it’s not that better in Nairobi!

So I was at Carni (for the first time in three years) on Saturday night with this character and also that one, but they went off to wiggle their behinds on the dancefloor, leaving those like me with two left feet huko outside near that joint for Dormans Coffee…si you know it? Ya, I was pale pale having a White Cap and despite having on a heavily padded winter jacket (it was bought in Finland, but do I say?) then there was this specimen in a micro mini skirt parading her waithera legs (Chatterly 2007)…..IN THAT COLD!!!!

I’m estimating it was somewhere about 8 or 9 degrees, I’m freezing mpaka the guadoz then these tu young things are running around in hot pants and micro minis? It was so cold mpaka I put aside the beer and got myself some steaming coffee from Dormans and sat my arse by the fireplace.

Then Ms waithera legs shows up to ota some fire, so I asked her “My dear, when you were leaving your house, didn’t you consider the weather before you put on that skirt?”

“No! As long as I look good, that’s all that matters!”

With THOSE tu legs? HA!! But clearly, fashion knows no weather!

Anyway, back to present day. I went to have an eye test done in Westi this morning, it was raining at the time. I parked the car, looked left, looked right…hakuna yellow jacket (City Council parking attendants). After all, they’re not paid enough to stand in the rain and clamp vehicles.

Shock on my diabz! I emerged from the optometrist’s 20 minutes later to find a clamp firmly wrapped around my front wheel!!!! And a note informing me to go to City Hall to pay the 1,070 bob required to un-clamp the car.

Now, it was raining and yaani me and public transport hatusikizani. Ati I take a jav to tao, walk to City Hall in the rain, queue for heaven knows how long, pay the fine, walk back to the stage in the rain and take a jav back to Westi and look for kanjo to un-clamp the car? Those are jokes bana! And I had two hours to pay the fine otherwise they’d tow the car to Parklands Police Station.

I looked for the idiot who had clamped the car and asked WTF was up with that! Tried arguing with him. My logic was that at the time that I parked the car, he was nowhere to be seen. Then I’d only been gone for about 20 minutes, AND I was in the shop right in front of where I’d parked. The dude didn’t want to listen, he refused to be bribed (come on guys, we need SOME corruption!!!) and talking to him was like trying to reason with a brick, so out of frustration, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it….. 

I didn’t understand why Kanjo suddenly became so excited and stretched out his right hand. This is why.

What’s supposed to be on my playlist

The next Sh*t – Pharaohe Monche feat Busta Rhymes

A.O.B

The Bloggers’ meet up is still on for this Saturday 14th July. If you’re still interested in coming along, contact Aegeus (Chairman of the DisOrganization Committee) on mblink.n [@] gmail [.] com and he’ll email you the final details by tomorrow. See y’all on Saturday!!